A Dream for a Dream
by dagget
Summary: I gave up my own dream when I stole his." Sometimes the consequences of a single moment of stupidity can be staggering. Sasuke can tell you all about it. 1st person pov. Kyuu/Naru, mpreg, character death
1. Chapter 1

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 1

It wasn't good. I knew full well that this was not a good thing as I continued to stare at my blissfully ignorant best friend. Or at least I had thought so back then.

I'd been watching Naruto's every move more and more as time wore on. It didn't help that we had started spending so much more time together since Iruka Sensei's marriage. Those days, the two of us were together almost every waking moment.

Of course, Naruto had been the only person I could stand to be around for years. Let's face it, I had no family and no other real friends. Naruto had Iruka Sensei as a make-shift father figure but that was really about it. The boy had been more than happy for Iruka when his engagement had been announced. He had confessed to me that he was hoping that since Iruka was like a father figure, his wife might become something of a mother figure and he could pretend he had a real family.

Ayame, who still worked at the ramen counter, liked Naruto well enough. She was one of the few villagers who didn't hate the Kyuubi vessel as she had been serving him ramen for years and gotten more than used to his presence. However, she was a newly married woman and she wanted a great deal of her husband's attention. It had never occurred to her to ever think of Naruto as anything but just another village boy and she wasn't about to start viewing him as some kind of adopted son. She hadn't signed up to marry a single father. She wanted children of her own.

Thus Naruto's dreams of a family were dashed before they had even been properly built up. To top it off, Iruka himself didn't have much time for him anymore and so he had taken to looking to me, the last Uchiha, his one good friend, for companionship.

I had found, at first, that I didn't mind this development as much as I might have when I was younger. I was still grateful to Naruto for stopping me from becoming a missing nin. Thanks to the blond, I had never quite made it to Orochimaru. Naruto had followed me and engaged in a pitched battle, determined to bring me home. He had completely disregarded my blatant attempts to kill him, stating that I simply wasn't in his right mind, and he had been right in the end.

After beating me to a bloody mess and dragging me forcibly home, (Don't _ever_ tell anybody I said that!) the Hokage had confirmed that Orochimaru's seal was controlling my mind and playing on my emotions enough to completely destroy my own natural good judgment. Just stoke the fires of my existing rage and assault my mind with subtle but constant suggestion, and you had an Uchiha who could viably plead temporary insanity. In fact, I had to be locked up to keep me from leaving again and with the 'cazy' attempts I made to escape, anyone would have let me off on that plea.

After extensive research had proven that there was absolutely no other way to destroy the seal than to destroy it's maker, Naruto had made it his mission to hunt down Orochimaru and kill him. And with some help from Jiraiya, he had done just that, and nearly killed 'himself' in the process. Having regained my control, which had been a lot like waking from a nightmare that you could only watch unfold and not participate in, I had visited my rescuer in the hospital. Naruto had been in bad shape and I sat by him throughout his recovery.

I was completely in awe of his unwavering friendship. Naruto had gone to outrageous lengths to save me from becoming a puppet for that evil snake and to give me back my life. I knew that for all of their daily assertions of love and devotion, there was _nobody_ else who would have done all of that for me. Naruto really, honestly cared about me in a simple yet profound way that didn't require any such daily assertions. The one person who cared for real was the one person who didn't feel the need to bombard me with an irritating shower of affection.

Upon his recovery, Naruto went right back to treating me the way he always had but my perspective on it had changed completely and instead of finding the dobe annoying, I found amusement in his antics.

This, in and of itself could have been considered a good thing. The problem here, which had arisen some time ago and only seemed to be growing worse by the day, was the unholy attraction that I was developing for my best friend. I couldn't help but take in every inch of Naruto's physique every time we met. I found himself thinking of him at inappropriate moments, wondering what he was doing anytime we were apart and struggling to hold back a dopey smile at some of the blond boy's cute little quirks. Then I started having dreams I knew I shouldn't be having, and eventually having to harshly reprimand myself in my mind for the recurring urge to touch in ways that I _really_ shouldn't. This was such a terrible development! It was too much!

I couldn't afford to have these kinds of feelings for Naruto. It didn't matter if my friend was the closest person to me or that he had been loyal and true and given me so much. It _certainly_ didn't matter that he had those beautiful eyes or that brilliant hair, winning smile and gorgeous body.

As the last of the Uchiha line I had a duty to continue that line. I had vowed to myself long ago that I would do just that. Not to mention my duty to uphold the family honour. The Gods only knew _that_ had already taken a good pounding. The last thing the Uchiha name needed was yet another scandal connected to it.

In fact, I had already begun tentatively working on an agreement with the Hyuuga clan. Hinata was a quiet girl, not nearly as annoying as most, and she was, genetically speaking, a very good match. Since Hiashi san had decided that she would not be taking the position of clan head, he was willing to seriously consider allowing me to take her off his hands. It was highly unfortunate that she wasn't the one that I dreamed of each night.

Naruto himself was apparently completely oblivious to my torturous inner conflict regarding him. A fact which caused me as much frustration as it did relief. My old team-mate still innocently thought of me as his dear friend and nothing more, leaving all responsibility for the situation squarely in my court. I really wished (far too often) that I could blame at least some of what I was feeling on the other party. It's not fun to desire something so much and know that you can never have it, could never even try to go for it. It created a tension that grew stronger all the time until I felt it as one continuous strain on my control and sometimes the stress of it made me down right angry.

Right then, I was keeping it all more or less at bay as a jumpy Naruto babbled nervously next to me on the way to the Hokage tower. That day was a big day for the demon holder. The Hokage had put in a request for him to be promoted to ANBU and he was to report to her office today to find out if the council had approved of the promotion. Naruto was so nervous about their decision, (though he hadn't exactly admitted it in so many words) that he had spent the morning distracting himself with a good old fashioned training session with his best friend and then asked me to come with him to the tower (for moral support, though again he didn't exactly put it that way).

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Most people might have taken the blond's bright smiles and constant rambling as nothing out of the ordinary and thought that he was just as supremely confident as he always made himself out to be but to my well trained eyes, his true feelings were obvious. He was just about to keel over from the anticipation and I knew why. He had every right to be nervous really, which is why I didn't bother to tease him about it like I normally might have and just accepted his 'invitation' to join him without any fuss.

He had never let go of his dream to be Hokage one day and he had been working so hard to be recognized and accepted by both the village and the council. They were so unfair to him. It hurts to think of it now where it used to just make me angry. He had such a hard time. Always. Anyone else who had reached his level, done what he had done, achieved what he had and shown such selflessness and loyalty toward his village along the way, would have made ANBU a hundred times over by then. He had to scratch and claw for every inch and do it with a smile.

Now here he was, up for the position and _nervous_ about the outcome, because it was _still in question_! I knew all too well why this was so important for him. Being made ANBU was a serious concession for him on the part of the council. It was proof of a level of trust that not very many managed to attain and it was a definite foothold for him on the way to eventually being Hokage. His life dream was riding heavily on this decision.

Truthfully, it made me kind of happy and proud in a way, that he wanted me around to support him. He was powerful and usually almost too determined for his own good but when it came to things like this, he could be more sensitive and fragile than most people. It made me feel good to know that he found my presence so comforting, that he needed me like that. Was it horrible of me to want him to need me and want me, even while I was sure that nothing could ever come of it. I wanted him to feel things for me that I had no intention of allowing myself to openly return. But damnit... I couldn't help myself...

"Thanks Sasuke," I heard him murmur quietly as we reached the tower and stopped, staring up at it. "Thanks for coming with me today." He was never anything but sincere when he spoke to me in that tone of voice and it sent a tingle down my spine to hear it. I stupidly dared to look over at him and the gentle smile that he was sending me, that warm look in his eyes, made my heart leap into my throat. Swallowing as covertly as possible, I scolded myself for reacting to such simple friendly gestures that way before answering.

"Hn." What? He got it. I know by the way he chuckled, in that endearing fashion that made me want to sigh like a little girl with a crush, and shook his head at me. I ended up scolding myself once again of course, but it was completely fruitless, and things only got worse from there on in.

He sucked in a breath and threw back his shoulders in a manner that was so typically Naruto and so darn cute. (Years before I would have been scoffing in disgust. How did I ever miss his adorable insecurity? I'm not sure now, whether I'm glad I finally saw him for what he was, or if perhaps ignorance might truly have been bliss after all.) He preceeded me up the stairs and I stared shamelessly at his backside the whole way up. My hands were itching to reach out and squeeze that firm, round bottom as it swayed temptingly, directly in my line of vision.

When we reached the right floor, Sakura was just stepping out of the Hokage's office and I mentally groaned as she spotted us and hurried over. Naruto greeted her warmly as usual and she gave him a vague acknowledgment before focusing on me.

"Sasuke kun! What are you doing here?"

"Hn," I answered. What? It was a completely different hn than the last one. Maybe _she_ wasn't smart enough to tell the difference but at least Naruto knew. Naruto always understood. He swiftly cut in to explain and act as a buffer between me and the source of my irritation. (Sakura was still so sure back then that she would be the next Mrs. Uchiha but I really could never have stood to spend a lifetime with her and that's that.)

"I have an appointment with Baa chan and Sasuke's coming along," he said brightly.

"Oh. Will you be long?"

"Not likely, I guess. She only has one little thing to tell me about." It was a testament to his apprehension that he didn't jump at the chance to boast of his upcoming promotion to ANBU. It wasn't like him to hold back his excitement and downplay a potentially great accomplishment like that.

"Oh good then! Maybe I'll just wait for you guys out here and we can do something together when you're done," she suggested with a hopeful look in my direction which I steadfastly ignored.

"Uh, yeah. Ok Sakura chan. If you want to." I could tell he didn't really want her to stay. (Though if the news was good, then spending a little time with her probably wouldn't be so bad as it might be otherwise.) I felt another wave of warmth rush through me at the idea that he wanted to be with me and me alone. He would never let Sakura know that there was anything amiss if things didn't work out. He trusted only me with this part of himself and his life. Only with me did he feel that level of comfort that he could really be himself. If only I had shown him the same trust and shared my own troubles with him back then. Things may have... no, _would_ have turned out very differently.

He hid his tension quite well but I could feel him practically trembling as we left Sakura and moved up to the big wooden office doors. This was mainly because he was nearly leaning on me as we walked. He had gotten as close as possible without altogether jumping into my arms. His shoulder brushed mine and I felt his hand caress over the back of mine like he wanted to hold my hand but knew how ridiculous that would look. I had a strong urge to grab his hand anyway or maybe something even more outrageous. The heat that poured off of him felt so good, and the clean citrus and ginger scent of him was so enticing. He had no idea how much moments like these affected me.

The guards to either side of the doors barely gave a nod as we approached and let us in without question as they had clearly been informed of Naruto's expected visit. We entered the room and Tsunade, who was seated at her desk, seemingly absorbed in writing something or other, didn't bother to raise her head for a long moment. Naruto somehow managed to get even closer to me in that suspenseful moment and his hand actually came up to grip my forearm in an almost childish sort of way.

I glanced over in surprise and caught sight of the unconsciously pleading look in his big blue eyes and the teeth worrying at his lower lip. I nearly groaned aloud as my blood pressure jumped. I wanted so badly right then to pull him into my arms and kiss that precious look off of his face, and I cursed him inwardly for making me feel this way. All this blasted physical contact was whittling away at my self-control, which I desperately needed to maintain at all times. Have you any idea how trying it is on your emotions to want someone to stay close so much, but need them to back the hell off just as powerfully?

Finally, the inconsiderate woman looked up, pinning poor Naruto with her gaze. Obviously, she was getting a kick out of making him squirm, which made me want to knock her out, but at the same time was more than likely a good sign. Naruto's hand had begun to fidget, rubbing lightly up and down my arm by now, causing goose-bumps to start spreading over my skin. His warm hand teasing my skin like that felt good, too good, and I was becoming more irritated. I liked it but I wanted him to stop. I was mostly angry at myself for my inability to take this for what it was and remain cool and impassive, but I wanted to be angry at him for 'testing me at every turn'.

"Well brat," she began. "They pondered over you for quite some time." Naruto stiffened beside me. "But after careful consideration... It seems they finally decided that you're the right man for the job."

For a moment there was no reaction. I don't even think he was breathing. Then suddenly, the life flowed back into him and burst out in a magnificent storm.

"...YEAH!!!!" he exclaimed at full volume (which for him is really saying something). Instantly, he was hopping and spinning around the room, letting out joyous whoops and loud laughter. He jumped right over the Hokage's desk and gave Tsunade a big hug before twirling away and continuing to freak out like a hyper little kid. "Yes! Arrigato Baa chan!! I made it!! YES!" She was trying to glare sternly at him but the smile that was obviously trying to break loose at his antics won out.

He bounced over to me with the hugest grin on his face and I almost smiled back, but he wasn't slowing down. I tried to growl at him. "Dobe, don't you.." He jumped on me anyway, wrapping both his arms and legs around me and nearly crushing me in a hug. I didn't mind at all... but then that was the problem. His giddy laughter in my ear sent shivers down my spine and my arms came up automatically to hold him. Then the best, and worst, thing happened. His lips landed on mine. It was swift and chaste and meaningless, born of pure ecstatic energy, but it was all I could stand. There's only so much strain a man can take and I reached my limit in that moment.

I reacted in the very worst way possible. I got angry. Here I am trying my damnedest not to go there with him, and he just 'has' to touch me and jump all over me and even kiss me! I knew that he wasn't _trying_ to make things hard for me and that _I_ was being the idiot here, but I completely exploded and the words came pouring out of me regardless.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I hissed loudly as I shoved him off. He landed flat on his ass on the floor and I towered over him menacingly. "Why are you always fucking TOUCHING me?! What, by the GODS, makes you think you can do that?!" I could feel myself growing more hysterical by the second and my voice got louder with each word, but I couldn't stop myself. "I"m sick of this!! You've been trying to seduce me for years haven't you?!!" I knew the accusation was ridiculous even as I made it and still I couldn't stop. "I'm not some kind of fag Uzumaki!" Also a lie, obviously. By now he was trying to splutter some response. He hadn't moved from his spot on the floor and his eyes were like saucers. "You're supposed to be my friend!! I've trusted you, and you try to pull this shit and weasel your way into my bed or something?! What the fuck do you think you're doing KISSING ME?!!!" I basically screamed the last part and at this point the doors flew open with a bang and Sakura rushed in, looking positively furious, followed by the confused and startled guards. Naruto was still sputtering helplessly and more people began to pour into the room.

"NARUTO BAKA!!! You KISSED Sasuke kun??!!" Sakura hollered, spelling out the situation in a nutshell for anyone who might have been in the dark.

"W-Well yeah but..." Naruto himself looked like he had the least idea of what the hell was going on out of anybody. He was understandably in a state of shock.

"The demon boy is trying to seduce the Uchiha," some called out in an outraged voice. More angry voices joined spouting nonsense and blowing things even more out of proportion. Some of the elders themselves came forward through the gathering crowd.

"Uzumaki Naruto," one began sternly, "Are these accusations true?"

"Of _course_ not!!" Naruto protested. The elders turned to Tsunade then.

"Did he touch or kiss the Uchiha just now?"

"Yes, he did," Tsunade sighed."But he..." The elder held up a hand to silence her and turned to me.

"Did you wish for, or welcome such contact?"

"Of course I didn't," I answered automatically in my usual bland tone. I was just beginning to calm back down by then.

"The demon tried to force himself on him!!" shouted someone from the crowd and all the murmurs of outrage picked up again creating a low but ominous roar.

"Sasuke...?" Naruto's voice was tiny, confused and pleading. I could see the tears beginning to shine in his eyes as he looked up at me miserably. He couldn't figure out why I was doing this to him. Well how _should_ he figure it out when even _I_ was lost by then. I never meant for it to happen. Everything just got out of control. It all happened so fast. I didn't really want to hurt him. Believe me! The last thing I ever wanted was to see him hurt, especially knowing that I was the cause!

"This is a serious strike against you Uzumaki. To do such a thing to anyone, let alone the Uchiha heir... well we had thought that you were trustworthy enough for a trial period at least, but now you've already proven that is not the case. I'm afraid we will be retracting your promotion to ANBU status."

I know I was a total jerk. I felt it quite keenly just then. I knew what a precarious situation my friend was in. Years of perfect behaviour would certainly be flushed right down the toilet and forgotten with one false move. His gaze shot back to me at those words. He looked so pleading, and then so very betrayed when I turned away from him. He wanted me to help him, but I couldn't. Or at least I convinced myself that I couldn't. "What was I supposed to do?" I asked myself. It was a phrase that I repeated often in my head for a long time after that day. How would it sound if I told the truth? _I_ was the one who was attracted to Naruto. So much so that it put me under unbearable stress. I, the legendary unshakable Uchiha, had freaked right out, over nothing, and cause a massive panic. My pride would not allow me to make such a fool of myself. I had to go along with things as they were at that time or risk my entire reputation. I am more than ashamed now, to say that I put my own reputation before that of my innocent best friend. Before his career, his dream, his whole damn life!

And here we come to the reason that this is not a very happy story. Not for me.

* * *

(A/N; So this should be pretty short, maybe three or four chapters. Heheh, Things work out pretty well for Sasuke in the last story, so now I'm back to poking him with the painfully pointy stick of consequence) 


	2. Chapter 2

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 2

So that's how it all started. Rather inauspicious, isn't it. I can't possibly tell you how remorseful I was for... well, basically destroying my best friend's life dream all in one stupid moment. I'd like to be able to say that the worst was over at that point. I suppose, in a way you could say that it was, as I never did get a chance to do anything even more damaging to my poor dobe. ( I guess I shouldn't call him that anymore.) But there was a lot more heartache to come.

You see, by the time I managed to muster up the fortitude and moral integrity to find Naruto and apologize, it was already too late. No, he wasn't killed or anything. I simply couldn't find him. When I finally asked the Hokage to tell me where the heck he had gotten to, which took some doing, as she was _really_ not impressed with me, she told me that he wouldn't be back in the village for some time.

"What do you _think_ happened to him, Uchiha? After that total disaster, that _you_ caused, he was a complete wreck, and the entire village is up in arms over him right now. I sent him away for his own good until all of this blows over somewhat."

"You kicked him out of the village?!" even I couldn't hide my surprise at such a callous idea. ( I know, I know. Like I'm one to talk.)

"I didn't kick him out!" she hissed, actually _hissed_ at me. "I sent him on a mission."

"You just said he was a wreck. What are you doing sending him on a mission?" I demanded.

"You said he was your friend, what were _you_ doing sending him up the river?" she snapped back. It was childish but I deserved it. "It's a long term but very easy mission and he has his team with him. He should be fine. Better than he'd be in this village right now."

"How long will he be gone?" I asked, masking my defeat as well as possible. She sighed and took pity on me anyway, giving me what assurance she could.

"It's six months of reconnaissance, give or take a week or two. They are to observe our new allies in grass, just to be certain that they are keeping to the deal and behaving as allies. It works out I suppose. I did need to know that they can be trusted and it's practically more of a vacation than a mission in any case. They simply have to keep their cover as traveling civilians, send the occasional message and have Yamanaka record anything interesting or suspicious with that advanced jutsu of hers. There shouldn't be any real danger or need for urgency."

_Six months_, I thought. _Six months before I can apologize.__ Six months for Naruto to stew over what happened, and either get over it or grow all the more angry and resentful towards me_. It was the longest six months of my life.

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Actually it wasn't quite six months when Naruto's team returned to Konoha... without Naruto. You can imagine what kind of a panic that put me in. ( Enough to show that I was at least slightly perturbed, which rarely happens.) Word got around very quickly, almost instantly in fact as rumours are prone to do in a ninja village, and most of the village was ready to declare Naruto a traitor and a missing nin by the time the rest of the team reached the Hokage's office at the tower. As it turned out the true story was stranger than fiction, and possibly the most devastating information I ever had to force myself to assimilate.

The Hokage took care to keep the meeting as private and low key as possible no one was allowed in but the team and the elders. I was hidden just outside the window, suppressing my chakra with all my considerable skill. I suspect that Tsunade may have guessed I was there but if so, she said nothing about it and continued as usual. (Now, I'm pretty sure that was because she knew that whatever I found out, would be punishment enough.) Neji, as Naruto's second in command was the one to respond to the interrogation.

"Your captain is missing."

"Yes Hokage sama. He will not ever be returning to Konoha." My heart clenched at his very matter-of-fact statement and I had to take a moment to center myself while Tsunade demanded a full account of the events following the last received message. Ino stepped in at this point.

"To begin, I should relay to you certain information that Naruto shared with us some time before the, uh... events in question," said a slightly nervous looking Ino. Neji and Kiba who made up the rest of the team seemed pretty subdued themselves. "You see, Naruto was sort of depressed for awhile after we left and Kiba had the brilliant idea of encouraging him to drink away his troubles and trying to 'get him laid'." The blond girl actually raised her hands to form quotation marks as she spoke the phrase and Kiba chuckled, quickly turning it into a pathetically fake cough. I wanted to wring his stupid neck! Tsunade cleared her throat suspiciously and signaled Ino to continue.

"He couldn't get him out to a bar so he brought the sake to our room at the time and managed to get him to take some of it, hoping it would loosen him up enough to make him more open to the idea of going with him to pick up women. As it turned out, trying to get Naruto laid was a supremely wasted effort, but he did get him drunk enough to loosen his tongue. I thought that if he was going to finally open up about his feelings, it would be a shame for him to forget it in the morning and miss out on anything he might have learned from it, so I started recording. He ended up giving us some amazing and very sensitive information that directly relates to the reason for his absence."

"You have this conversation recorded?" Tsunade asked, leaning forward in her seat to focus her full attention on the mind jutsu specialist. Ino nodded and the Hokage directed her to share this mental record with her alone first. Every good ninja understands the significance of 'sensitive information'. Ino came forward without hesitation and took Tsunade's hand as the older woman stood. Both sets of eyes glazed over as the jutsu activated and the selected information began to transfer between them. A few moments later, they blinked back into real time and Ino released the Hokage's hand and stepped back. Tsunade looked sincerely stunned by whatever she had learned. She was literally reeling and fell back to slump heavily into her chair, which had my mind racing through the many horrible possibilities.

"What is it Hokage sama?" asked one of the council members. Tsunade held up a hand to stall him and beckoned Shizune to her. She whispered something in her assistant's ear and Shisune stepped back. With a nod and salute, she turned and left the room.

"I suppose I have no choice but to let you all review the information directly. I can't keep this from the council. Ino you may as well go ahead. The telepathic relay is faster anyway." Ino nodded and stepped forward to take the hand of two of the elders. The rest began to join hands with each other in a circle. I couldn't stand this secrecy anymore, not when it had to do with my dobe's welfare. I needed to know what was going on, so I jumped into the window and walked stiffly to the circle. The elders all cast their gaze to Tsunade, who simply nodded, allowing me to stay. She seemed completely unsurprised, which is why I was sure she knew of my presence all along.

When we were all connected, Ino began to broadcast her information through the connection. Suddenly I was standing in a meager hotel room looking from Ino's perspective at Kiba and Naruto, each sitting on their respective single beds, facing each other, with several empty bottles of sake on the floor between them. The vague shape of the Hyuuga, leaning against the frame of the room's one window could be made out on the peripheral. Kiba was pouring himself another drink and evidently trying to persuade a nicely buzzed Naruto to go out and pick up chicks with him.

"I can't Kiba," Naruto sighed, shaking his head.

"Oh come on buddy. Sure you can!" said Kiba with a grin as he slapped his teammate on the back.

"No, you don't understand," Naruto drawled. "I mean I can't. As in, 'I am physically incapable'." Kiba's brows knotted in confusion.

"What are you talking about man?"

"I just can't! I never have, ok?"

"You're a virgin?! ..._Physically incapable_?!!! How the hell did that happen?!!"

"Look Kiba, I appreciate that you're trying to help out and make me feel better, but there's nothing really to feel better _about_. The fact is, the villagers, the council, they're right! They're all right about me. I _am_ a demon."

"Dude, don't say that," Kiba slurred reproachfully.

"But I am. I mean that literally. I am not human. At least not fully. Not any more." Ino froze and Neji's head quickly turned away from the window as he evidently began to take interest in the conversation. Naruto just smirked at Kiba's stupidly blank expression and continued. "It's like this. I had no friends or family when I was little. No one to talk to me or answer my questions, and therefore... I had no way of knowing what was normal and what wasn't. Eventually though, when everyone else around me was hitting puberty, I had to realize that I wasn't like other guys my age. So I started doing the research to figure out where I went wrong and why."

"What do you mean by 'going wrong'?" asked the drunk and confused dog nin.

"I wasn't developing an interest in girls and sex." an intoxicated Naruto was apparently even more blunt than usual.

"So you really are gay!"

"No... well... no, not really." Naruto let out another sigh and started massaging his temples in obvious frustration. "I'm not attracted to _anyone_ that way and I think it's because I haven't developed sexually like a normal human would. I think I've been growing the way a demon would. I figured if I'm not normal then it probably had something to do with Kyuubi."

"Naruto," Neji's voice cut in. "Are you saying that the demon has been changing you somehow? This is serious! Why wouldn't you have said something before?!"

"I told you, I didn't know that the way I was developing wasn't normal for a long time. How would I know? I had no information. I didn't even know there was a demon inside me 'till I was twelve! That's where the third made a mistake, I think. Gaara knew from the beginning and fought his demon off everyday of his life. Of course it drove him nuts, but the alternative is me. I just_ let_ all this demon chakra run rampant through my system my whole life, not realizing what was going on and assuming everything was normal."

"What's the bottom line here Naruto?" asked Ino sternly while Kiba's head swung back and forth between them looking utterly lost.

"I believe I've been permanently altered on a genetic level and I am essentially more demon than human." Naruto answered solemnly which actually looked more cute than anything with his bleary eyes. That didn't diminish the gravity of his revelation though. There was a seemingly long pause before Neji spoke again in a carefully controlled voice.

"You mentioned some research?"

"Yeah I found as much info as possible on demon growth and development, and I seem to be following that pattern. I can't say that I would really mind it if I knew nobody _else_ would. I think demons would find human development pretty impractical and backwards, what with being able to become sexually active before you really become an adult. Demons become adults first and _then_ sexuality comes into play. Human kids have sex with everyone in the damn neighborhood and sometimes even get pregnant when they lack the life experience, and the mental and emotional capacity to handle the consequences. I mean, doesn't that sound backwards to you? Don't you thi..."

"Get to the point Naruto," said Ino, waving off his drunken rambling.

"Point?...uh... Oh! Yeah, well if I'm as much a demon as I think I am then eventually I'll go into a heat cycle of sorts, but until then..." He trailed off with a shrug.

"Wait!" Kiba practically shouted as his mental light-bulb finally came on. "That means you really _couldn't_ have tried to get in Sasuke's pants! 'Cause you have no interest in sex at all right?"

"That's right," Naruto grinned. Then his face fell. "Since I don't have a physical attraction to force me to think about my feelings for certain people, I never really realized how much he meant to me... until he shoved it in my face like that... I haven't been able to think about anything else since."

"Oh Naruto, I'm sure he's sorry for saying all that stuff," said Ino wrapping a comforting arm around him. The blond shook his head, looking even more miserable.

"If he is, then it's because he thinks he's wrong. But he's not. Not completely. I may not have been hitting on him, but I did feel a lot more for him than a 'friend' should. If he found out, then he'd just reject me like that all over again. He was furious Ino! The very thought of me in that way was just so horrible to him."

"He's your best friend Naruto..."

"I'm not sure we can ever be friends again. He'd feel uncomfortable around me at best and everything would be awkward. It would just be a mockery of what we once had. I don't want to ruin what good memories I have like that."

"Does this mean you really _are_ gay then?"

"KIBA!!" Ino smacked the brunet upside the head for his insensitivity.

"What?!" Kiba whined, rubbing his head.

"I suppose I _will be_, by human standards," came Naruto's quietly cryptic answer.

"Eh!" two of his companions chorused. The blond flopped down on his stomach on the bed, resting his chin on his folded hands.

"Demons don't have two separate genders y'know. Any one of them is able to 'perform either role in the reproductive cycle'." the quotation marks were fairly audible in his voice. He really _had_ done his homework. "Which means that a heat cycle is a time of fertility, when one is ready to assume the role of, uh, er... carrier I guess. The only time an unmated demon will feel any sexual urges, is when they are in heat themselves or are near another unmated demon who's in heat. As a demon, or half demon at least... Whatever I am, I should have my first heat, pretty soon I think, and what my instincts will want is someone with the... equipment to impregnate me. I wouldn't ever be able to mate with a human female because they ovulate about twelve times a year instead of just one, and therefore the pheromones they give off wouldn't be strong enough to trigger a reaction in me."

"Woah!" Kiba breathed. "You mean You're only going to get to have sex once a year?! That sucks man!" he plopped down on the bed beside the blond man and patted his back sympathetically.

"Not really Kiba." Naruto clarified, looking up at his teammate. "It just means that I can only ever have sex with one person. Once a demon mates, their mate's own special scent and chakra and pheromones are imprinted on them. Mates can be intimate at any time, though they can only get pregnant once a year. No one else will ever hold any interest for either of them again though." Naruto paused and gave a small, bitter smile. "I doubt I'll ever have a mate though. I'm not a real demon after all. And I'm not a real human either. Nobody will want to be stuck with me for life. Even my own best friend was so against the idea that he couldn't even bring himself to let me down gently."

Ino dropped down on Naruto's other side and began stroking his hair while Kiba continued to pat his back, but all was silent for some time as they tried to wrap their brains around the startling information they'd just been handed.

"Naruto," Ino started finally. "Do you really think you might be enough of a demon to... be both male and female like that?" Naruto chuckled but it was an alarming sound that scraped at the mind.

"Oh hell! What do I know? I could be totally wrong about _everything_. Maybe I'm really just a eunuch or something!" His chuckle rose into a terribly self-deprecating laughter that faded as Ino's recorded information ran out and everyone in the circle, shook themselves back into consciousness only to glance around at each other uncomfortably.

* * *

(A/N; Okay, so I've had it suggested to me, that I should make the story longer than just four chapters. After a few experiments, I had decided that it was more powerful if Sasuke was telling the story directly. Of course, that means you lose a lot of information that could have been told by an omniscient narration, which was the reason for the shortness. Now I don't want to lose that impact but I do kind of agree that it could stand to be a bit longer. So I've pretty much decided to add in a few chapters from Naruto's pov. That should bring it up to six or seven chapters, depending on how I decide to wrap it up.) 


	3. Chapter 3

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 3

I had never felt it before, that level of despair. I'd never allowed myself to fall so low. No matter what had happened before, no matter how hard things got, I had always maintained a certain degree of optimism. I'd always been able to convince myself that things could and would get better. There was always hope. A change was right around the corner.

When my best friend had run away from the village, determined to join the enemy, there was some kind of action I could take. I knew that all I had to do was go after him and get him back. This was vastly different. Every hope I'd ever had was ripped from me in that one painful moment. My dream felt so far out of my reach. Worse than when I'd started out even. There's something just plain earth shattering about hitting ground zero from such a height. And I had climbed so hard and gotten so high by then that the fall knocked the wind out of me. It was literally hard to breath for a long while afterward. The frustration is just overwhelming. Starting from the bottom is one thing, but starting all over again, is enough to bring tears to the eyes of even the most determined of souls.

I couldn't take any action on this. Not only because I'd been sent on this so-called _mission_. (And make no mistake I saw it for the _banishment_ it truly was. The whole mission cover story was a joke.) but gaining the trust of anyone is more of a waiting game than anything else, and I had already been waiting for so very long. Regaining a_ broken_ trust takes even longer. But the part that truly burned, was the realization that I never actually _had_ gained the trust of my village, even after all I'd done. They'd been willing to placate me (or Tsunade, more likely) but it was just a mirage. It made me realize the sheer impossibility of my goal with a staggering finality. They were simply making it _look_ like they'd given me a chance while they waited for the right excuse to take it away. That excuse had come faster than I'm sure even they had ever expected. And in the form of my own 'best friend'!

At first the betrayal was a shock, the likes of which had me functioning in a daze for more than a week after the fact. Then the anger had washed over me. Anger I hadn't felt since I had fought off and killed the evil bastard who'd threatened the very same friend that I now cursed to hell and back. I had been willing to do whatever it took to help him, to free him and keep him safe. I'd devoted so much time and effort to him, done everything I possibly could to make his life better. I risked my very life for him time and again, asking for nothing in return. How DARE that son of a bitch, make such horrible accusations! How DARE he turn his back on me! How could he possibly tear apart the dream I had worked so hard to build, so carelessly!

For awhile I wanted to rend him limb from limb. But that kind of intense anger is draining, and eventually even unnatural stamina like mine, has to run out, at least for a little while. After weeks of traveling on a pathetic excuse for a mission, going through all the motions on automatic without bothering to sleep at all, I finally found myself exhausted enough to settle down and rest. Then the power behind the emotion just fell away, leaving me alone with my thoughts. That was when I really started asking myself all the questions that I'd been avoiding.

_Why_ had he done that to me? Had he simply been startled into overreacting? But those strange accusations... I mean _seducing him_? The very _idea_ that I would do such a thing... What had even made him think of such an explanation in the first place? Had I possibly been giving out some weird signals that I wasn't aware of? Sure I spent a lot of time with him but I couldn't think of anytime that I had done or said something that might indicate that I was interested in him that way. What if I had though? Why would I do that, even unconsciously? And if I had somehow given that impression, why did he wait until _that_ moment to do anything about it? Why would he make that assumption, never once ask me about it and then make a huge scene of it at the worst possible moment? Why did he have to shout out his rejection to the world?! It was like he was waiting for the perfect moment to do the most damage. Why?! Why did he have to make it as painful as possible?!... Why _was_ it so painful to think of how violently negative his reaction was to the idea of my possible affection? Eventually my endless spiral of questions led me to a few confusing and ultimately unhelpful conclusions.

Having been forced to examine my past and present feelings concerning Sasuke, I finally realized exactly how much he meant to me. I had simply never been confronted with the issue head-on before. I had taken our connection at face value, 'taken for granted', you might say, that it just plain worked, and it always would. Now... it seemed that it didn't anymore. I'm not saying that I _was_ trying to seduce him or that I even believed that I had done anything to indicate that. He was an inexcusable asshole to accuse me like that. I'm saying that he meant more to me than anyone else in my life. God knows I wasn't sure that he deserved it...

My conclusions were that I really loved him in a way that could have become much more, once I was ready for it. But he obviously didn't feel the same, and that hurt me as much as the loss of my dream. It's an odd sort of pain, the loss of something that could have been important, before you'd even had the chance to grasp the possibility of it. It's more distant and intangible a feeling, but no less real. After that horrible night, my anger became over-shadowed by depression. I went through my own brand of grieving process, attempting to keep it subtle, for the sake of the mission and my team, who were clearly worried about me.

Actually I can't say what might have happened to me if they weren't there. They honestly did whatever they could to try to help, not allowing me to withdraw the way my instinct cried out for. I kept it all to myself for months before Kiba finally got me to drink enough sake to lower my defenses. That was the turning point for me. The oblivion of alcohol had just sounded so damn tempting at that point and in the end I can't say I'm sorry for giving in, though the next day, I was horrified at myself. That night, with the buzz pleasantly distorting my sense of reason, I told them all the secret that had been slowly eating away at me.

Their relatively calm acceptance and continued support, following that night reminded me that I still had _something_. And believe me, that reminder was beyond necessary, because for a while there I literally felt as though I'd lost _everything_. Iruka had no time for me, (And don't get me wrong. I was honestly happy for him but for someone with my background, each relationship I cultivated was too precious for words.) my best friend basically fed me to the wolves, I was demoted and humiliated, my aspirations had been shot to hell and I'd been essentially banished from the village for half a year, with no guarantee of a 'welcome home' afterward. It had seemed like everything remotely good about life was slipping through my hands.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Depressing thoughts tend to get on a roll that's difficult to stop. Have you ever noticed that? The more low you feel, the more things you can find to feel low about. My teammates really helped to keep my grounded during that difficult time. I knew how worried they were and it forced me to struggle to get a grip on my rampant emotions, for their sakes. It was quite a task really, my moods seemed to shift rapidly without rhyme or reason in a way I had never experienced and couldn't begin to explain. Of course, looking back now, the explanation is very simple. I was going through my first onslaught of hormonal imbalance.

My team took everything remarkably well though. They were there for me, helping me figure things out and cope with whatever came my way. I had expected them to distance themselves, to reject me outright at the most, or to awkwardly try to avoid me while pretending that nothing was different, at the least. Instead, they talked about it every chance they got. (When no one might overhear.) They asked me about a million, very candid, questions, each of them interested in different things.

Kiba actually had some insightful conversations with me regarding animal instincts and mentalities and how I was changing and feeling. Ino had lots of questions about the nature of demon mating. She wanted to know if demons chose a mate based on logical principle or if they actually fell in love, or perhaps the imprinting I had mentioned before meant that mates couldn't help loving each other. I'm pretty sure she just thought that the idea of eternal mates was romantic. Any information I could gather on that subject was pure conjecture though. We're talking about how they feel, and while humans have observed a little about demon behaviour, it's not like they can get into their heads. I told her that I supposed that like humans, some demons were more emotionally driven than others.

Neji asked me every question he could think of (in forensic detail) that might help us formulate a plan for how to deal with what happened when the time came. He wanted to know if demon pheromones would possibly effect humans. He asked what exactly would happen to me physically and if I thought I'd be able to keep my head through the process. He asked, of course, if there were any way to get through a heat cycle and avoid a mating. He wanted to know if I could possibly fight off a would-be suitor or if I'd automatically give in, and what would happen if there were more than one suitor. ( I had to laugh at his use of the word suitor.) He came at me with so many questions it made my head spin. Unfortunately I couldn't begin to answer most of them. I mean, consider my sources. It's not as if any humans really know all that much about demons.

I told him that I didn't really know about the effects of demon pheromones on humans, or exactly how well my thought processes were going to work, but I didn't expect to become completely mindless. I said that certainly a demon could avoid mating. The evidence of that was pretty clear and it made sense to me. After all, demons were immortal and they mated for life. They could take all the time they wanted to find the right partner. They could afford to be picky, and it would likely be in their best interest since there was no ' 30 day, risk free trial' here. Sorry no refunds. I imagine that the older, unmated demons would seek out a place that was relatively unpopulated by any others during that time of the year. And kick the ass of anyone that did happen to find them.

I could at least assure him that yes, it was possible to fight of a suitor. In fact, it was a natural instinct, if they were found unworthy or lacking in any way. A demon in heat would want to ensure strong offspring. And who would want to have someone weak (or at least weaker than themselves) protecting them throughout a pregnancy? It would be contrary to the 'survival of the fittest' rule, if whatever bozo happened to show up first was automatically accepted. As for having more than one suitor, I just had to laugh at the very idea. I couldn't imagine myself attracting even one, never mind _more_. As I told them, I wasn't even a real demon. Who would choose to tie themselves to a sad little creature like me? But he just folded his arms and looked at me, waiting for a satisfactory answer to his question, so I explained that _hypothetically,_ if there were two or more suitors, they would be compelled to battle it out. No one cowardly or weak enough to try to avoid the fight would ever be accepted as a mate anyway. They would have to prove their strength.

----------------------------------------------------------

I went through a lot of changes in those months. Some subtle and some, not so subtle. My people-watching, for instance, became more and more obsessive. Specifically my attention to the interactions of families. I was drawn to stop and smile over every baby I came across. ( Really that would have been a huge clue to anyone.) As time wore on I found my senses heightening. Smell was especially noticeable. The scents of absolutely everything practically assailed my sensitive nose and whats more, I began to have violently distinctive emotional reaction to certain scents. The smell of one thing would would make me damn near sick while another thing would send me into euphoria. My emotions were ridiculously out of control.

It was terribly disconcerting to be walking around, watching people, as I had taken up doing more and more, and find myself feeling heartened at a familial scene one moment and near tears over the same thing the next. Honestly all the swift highs and lows, the bout of both giddy laughter and unaccountable anger were so foreign and disturbing then, that I would hate to have gone through it the 'human way', when I was much younger and so prone to overreaction and wild flights of fancy. That would have been traumatic. If that wasn't enough, my appearance was slowly beginning to change. Just small physical details, but enough that my team caught on to each one immediately. There several awkward moments when Kiba would catch sight of something odd and just blurt it out, causing Ino and Neji to clam up uncomfortably and try not to stare at me.

I wasn't sure what to think the first time he mentioned something. We had just bought some dango and were sitting on a bench outside in the street when there was a sudden crash from the alley next to the shop. All our heads shot up and my team looked to me for a reaction. I got up to take a look, with Kiba eagerly following, though there was no trace of strange chakra and it was likely nothing. It turned out to be nothing more than the lady next door, dropping her garbage down into the bin from an upstairs window, and we all relaxed and went back to our dango but Kiba was looking at me strangely.

"What?" I asked him.

"You know, I could have sworn I saw your eyes change just now," he answered, sounding as confused as I felt. "It was like they flashed a different color for a second, when we first heard that crash."

Nobody else had seen what he meant at that time but later that 'flash' happened more often and eventually stayed for longer periods. Then even the shape of my eyes began to change little by little. By the time the mission was nearing it's end, the changes seemed to have become permanent. Then there was the way I started having to constantly cut back my nails until the morning that I woke to find my claws caught in my blanket. My fangs had started growing longer and sharper as well and finally, Kiba pointed out another change that I hadn't noticed was happening at all.

It was while we were traveling between villages on our way back to the edge of Grass Country. We couldn't use any significant amount of chakra or call any attention to ourselves while we were still within the borders of Grass, so we had to travel slowly, like ordinary civilians. We had stopped to make camp and I went to clean up in a nearby stream. A few moments later, my team-mates all came along to join me. Lately, they had been less willing to let me out of their sight for long. Sometimes I found it a little stifling and there was the odd moment when I would worry that perhaps they just didn't trust me, but mostly I was touched by their protectiveness.

Ino just sat on a rock at the edge of the water and watched the rest of us. Neji was very calmly rinsing off the travel-grime that had accumulated on both his clothes and his body while Kiba challenged me in a race to the other side and back. I accepted and instantly started swimming. He scrambled after me, yanking on my leg to pull himself alongside, and then shoving me behind him as he took off, slashing wildly. I dove down and swam under him, popping up to the surface just in front of him at the opposite bank and laughing at the 'HEY!" he shouted at me, before dunking down again to swim back. I won, of course, and Ino and I were both laughing when Kiba slogged up out of the water, grumbling about how I'd obviously cheated.

"It's not my fault you swim like a dog," I teased, before shaking all the excess water out of my hair and reaching up a hand to slick it back out of my face. Kiba suddenly fell silent, mid-rant and I stopped, looking over at him. His eyes were wide and he lifted his hand to point a finger at me.

"Dude! Your ears!"

"What?" I asked. "What is it?" I looked around and the others were silent as well, shooting surreptitious glances at me.

"They're pointy," he said "I'm sure they weren't always that pointy." Then he burst out laughing. "You look inbred man!" My jaw dropped at both the change he'd pointed out and his idiotic reaction to it.

"Shut up!" I finally managed to yell, but he kept laughing. He was practically rolling on the ground over it now.

"Hahah! Pointy-eared inbreeders!" he crowed. Then Ino punched him viciously in the head and he dropped like a rock. A moment later, she stepped over his groaning form and pulled a mirror out of her pouch, handing it to me.

"Well that's just great," I muttered as I took a look at my latest change, wondering how long _that_ had been happening while I hadn't noticed. I'm not really the kind of guy who preens in the mirror everyday, and my hair tends to hide most of my ears. It wasn't going to be hiding this too terribly well anymore though. The tips were starting to poke through.

"It's not so bad Naruto," Ino comforted. "I think it looks kind of cute." I appreciated the effort of course, but what I was thinking was that it looked more like something that people were going to question me about back home. As it stood, I'd been wondering, more and more often over the past months whether it might not be a better idea to just never go home at all. I mean, what was I going to tell people? They were bound to know that _something_ was up, and I was sure they were already toying with the idea of locking me up or maybe even executing me or something.

----------------------------------------------------------

It was with a heavy heart that I got up on our last morning in Grass country. We were very near to the border and once outside their territory, we could travel at higher speeds, the rest of the journey home from here, would be a quick one. It was uncertain what I would be facing when we arrived and I was already pretty irritable about that, the agitating heat of my body that day, just made things even worse. I felt extremely resistant to the whole idea of going anywhere just then, but I knew that I couldn't really suggest that we just sit around and wait here for no good reason.

We'd spent the last night in an inn and I took an extra long shower that morning before we left. I felt really sticky and for some reason I had an undeniable _need _to get clean, as clean as possible. I scrubbed myself all over, very thoroughly, twice, before getting out and putting on the ninja gear that I hadn't worn in months, hiding it under a civilian traveling cloak.

As we took off, the sun beating down on me felt far to hot for this time of year in Grass and the cloak was stifling. I felt like I couldn't breath properly in it and I couldn't wait to get to the border, where I'd be able to discard it. I could feel my team's worried eyes trained on me often as we neared the border. We finally passed out of Grass country and I flung the cloak off with a sigh of relief. Neji asked if I was okay. I just nodded tightly and leaped up into the trees. We managed a fast, steady pace for quite awhile before the inner burning returned full force.

I had never had a fever in my life that I could remember and I marveled at first at the strange sensation of shivering and sweating all at once. But then it quickly became more irritating than fascinating. I felt myself slowing. The warmth of the sun was too much and it almost felt like a tangible weight on my body. Finally, by some kind of silent agreement, the rest of the team, jumped down from the branches. I followed and as soon as my feet touched the ground, I knew I could go no further. The heat was becoming unbearable. It seemed to sap all the energy out of me and I collapsed to my knees right there on the path. I could hear them talking about me in low voices and I wondered vaguely why they bothered to lower them at all.

"Do you think this is it?" Ino was asking.

"I don't know," Neji replied, sounding absent minded, like he was already considering what might happen and what to do in this case or that.

"Maybe, it's just a normal fever," Kiba suggested uncertainly. "It is possible right?"

"I suppose it's possible, though very coincidental if that's the case," Ino agreed. "So... we should treat it and see if it clears up before we do anything?"

"Yes," Neji consented, after a pause. "Give him something for it."

Ino gave me a pill and a canteen of water to wash it down. I could have done without the medication, but the water felt wonderfully soothing going down and I drank the whole thing very quickly. Then they helped me get off the path. I stumbled through the forest a short way until we found a small mossy clearing and I sank down to the soft ground to rest. Of course, after some time, it became apparent that it wasn't going to work.

I had started outright panting and the strange discomfort was growing worse. I knew that they were debating how to handle the situation but I could offer no advice. I couldn't even concentrate on their voices enough to make much sense of the words. I cannot fully describe the terrible itch that I felt, but it agitated every last nerve and I seemed to burn from the inside out. There was a pulse that traversed my whole body and returned to culminate in the center. All I could do was sit there pathetically panting and shivering, listening to the rushing, pounding of my own boiling blood in my ears, anticipating the next shock-wave. I barely understood that I was waiting for something. If I could hold out long enough, _something_ was going to happen, but it was just a feeling. I had no idea in my mind, what exactly that something was.

I could feel when the heated chakra began to escape me. I felt it pulling through from the inside, seeping through my skin, raising each and every tiny, invisible hair on my back and my limbs. There was a scorching feeling, different from the rest, on my stomach, just where the seal rested. I could feel the entire seal in a way that I'm sure if I'd never seen the thing before I still could have drawn it out in exact detail from the memory of that feeling alone. Then the scorching around the edges of the seal faded and that fading continued inward. Not that the seal was shrinking. It was more like the outer edges were burning themselves right off of me and disintegrating, and it kept working in along the spiral. I could do nothing at all. I couldn't even confirm what was happening or consider the possible meaning or consequences as I felt the entire seal seem to burn itself out of existence while the firey chakra slowly left my system through every pore.

Finally it seemed that it was over, whatever_ it_ was, and while my feverish state remained, it was much more manageable. The process had left me feeling strangely empty and sluggish. (Though for someone such as myself who is used to having literally _boundless_ energy like a jittery coffee addict, sluggish could just as easily mean 'a little closer to _normal_ than I'm used to'.)

I felt a presence beside me, something familiar though I couldn't seem to place my finger on it. I think I may have whimpered and then there was movement, footsteps. Graceful and stealthy, though not enough for me to miss it. Somebody was kneeling down next to me. I wanted to look up but another of those shock-waves was coursing through me at just that moment. It tensed up through it, gritting my teeth. Then strong hands were lifting my own, gripping them, giving a comforting squeeze, like they were encouraging me to squeeze back. I did so without really thinking about it. The contact seemed to help in some mild way and it was so much more satisfying to grasp something solid, rather than the too soft earth.

What finally forced my head up, was the sound of my name being called in a deep voice, low and quiet but with a slight rumbling quality nonetheless. I looked up then and saw the face of a man I surely had never seen before. He had a perfectly untouched look about him, as though he'd just been dreamed up today. His skin was honey gold and honestly seemed as though it had never once experienced a rougher touch than the air itself. Of course, my own skin sort of looks like that a suppose, since the smallest of abrasions had always been instantly healed for me, but I was not used to seeing anyone else who looked the same. I stared for a moment at his sharp featured face, framed by deep red hair. His eyes captured my attention. They were a luminous gold that didn't look natural. I was sure that I knew him somehow. The answer was on the tip of my tongue. Then my last clue swished by on my peripheral. A plush, red fox tail to match his hair. My eyes widened involuntarily.

"Kyuubi?" I whispered.

* * *

(A/N; Ok, so how'd I do? It took me awhile to figure out how I wanted to portray Naruto's perspective, since that wasn't really part of the original plan. I don't know how i.c. you'll find it, but I personally _hate_ it when people make Naruto too stupid. I know he can be kinda goofy now and then but he really does have a sharp mind when the situation calls for it. Seriously, he was just a little kid when the manga/show started and he's matured quite bit since then. I think a lot of writers don't give him nearly enough credit. I really don't care for fics where he's made out to be literally mentally retarded. Anyway the next chapter will be out a lot quicker. See ya!) 


	4. Chapter 4

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 4

"Is this really true?"

"What does it mean?"

"The boy will have to be studied closely."

"Is the seal still working?"

"Please calm yourselves," Tsunade broke in. "We have yet to find out where Naruto is right now and why he hasn't returned." The din died down and the Hokage looked meaningfully at the three team-mates prompting them to enlighten her on those questions immediately.

"Hahah, well you know what he said about eventually going into heat?" said Kiba, scratching the back of his head.

"He really did?!"

"Dude, it was _crazy_!" Ino elbowed Kiba in the gut and he cut off abruptly with a wheeze, and clutched at his side.

"What _exactly_ happened?" Tsunade did not sound very amused, her amber eyes narrowing. Neji took up the story while Ino actually shuffled back a bit, discretely, and fidgeted with the braces on her arms.

"It was when we were on the way back to Fire Country. Naruto suddenly started slowing. He seemed to be feeling ill in some way and his temperature began to rise rapidly. We had to stop and let him rest. At first we thought, or hoped, that it was just a little fever that he had caught, but it turned out that it wasn't treatable. He just kept getting hotter and more uncomfortable."

I was hating this stupid suspense. So far, I hadn't heard anything that would have kept him from coming back to me... to Konoha. Sure the information was surprising, shocking even, but if it really was a 'heat cycle' he had experienced, then it couldn't have gone on forever. Right? It would come to an end and then he could have just come home. I was trying to listen closely and go through all the possible reasons that Naruto wouldn't have made it home at the same time. Had he changed somehow? Was he just afraid of people finding out? Or had he really been sick?! Had he not recovered?!

"He was sweating" Neji continued, "and then, what looked like steam started to rise from his body. It started out clear but it slowly turned red."

"Kyuubi's chakra!" the murmuring started again at this, but Tsunade held up a hand, leaning over her desk and staring at him almost as intently as I was.

"Well," she said, impatiently.

"It_ was_ Kyuubi's chakra." The murmurs were quieter this time, less intelligible but anyone could guess what they were thinking anyway, I suppose. "In fact, it was the Kyuubi himself, separating from Naruto." Cries of shock and fear and outrage burst forth, filling the room. It took some time, before Neji was able to continue with the telling and I wanted to tear out every one of their tongues. I just wanted to know what the hell had happened to the dobe! It was so frustrating!

"It went on for quite some time, forming a reddish cloud around him. The chakra leaked out of him very slowly, presumably to avoid causing Naruto any damage." Everyone looked confused at that theory, not understanding why the escaping demon would bother to preserve it's host.

"And what led you to that conclusion?" Tsunade asked, before another barrage of comments and questions could break out.

"It... became fairly obvious," Neji answered evasively, causing even more frustration. Tsunade frowned, which is a more controlled expression than I'm sure_ I _must have been making.

"I don't suppose Ino would have begun a recording at this juncture. I would call such a thing, both unusual and relevant to the security of the village."

"Uh, well, yes," Ino answered hesitantly. Everyone moved into position and Ino grasped the hands to either side of her and began her transmission. Suddenly I was looking at Naruto, flushed and doubled over in a small clearing, likely off to the side of the trail somewhere. Neji was staring intently at Naruto with his byakugan activated, and Kiba was looking worriedly back and forth between the blond and his other team-mates as the red chakra Neji had described was building. Rather than growing in size, the cloud was growing more dense, it was slowly moving away from Naruto who was panting heavily, eventually leaving just a trickle still connecting them. The chakra, acting as though it had a pulse and a life of it's own, shifted and began to actually solidify as though it were building a tangible form molecule by molecule. Soon limbs and distinguishable features took shape and a man stood beside Naruto. A man with many reddish, furry tails swishing back and forth, very visibly as his back was turned to me. (or Ino rather) He was well built, with honey toned skin and shaggy, blood red hair and he seemed to be looking himself over as he stretched out his arms and flexed his claw-tipped fingers.

Naruto let out a whimper and the man, Kyuubi, turned at once to look at him. He kneeled over him and grasped his hands, gently pulling them away from where they were digging little furrows into the earth.

"Naruto," he said, his voice low but powerful. Naruto's head shot up and his eyes that had been squeezed shut, opened wide. Revealing things I hadn't noticed until that moment. His ears seemed more pointed than before and his blue eyes were sharper and shot with violet. His mouth dropped open at the sight of the demon, showing off fangs that were more prominent now. A swift glance over the rest of him and I saw that the hands Kyuubi was holding bore claws like his own.

"Kyuubi?" Naruto whispered. The demon's mouth curled a bit.

"That's me Kit."

"What... How?"

"What the Fuck are we gonna do?!" Kiba whispered, while Kyuubi chuckled at the blond. He looked like he was about ready to piss his pants and his huge dog was cowering behind him like a little pup.

"We can't attack. We don't have enough information." Neji answered.

" If he's really here, at full power, we could be obliterated and there'd be no one left to warn the village," came Ino's shaky voice.

"That's right," Neji agreed. "We have to get to Konoha and tell the Hokage what's happening."

"You little runts might as well quit plotting over there. I won't be going anywhere near your puny village." All three jumped at the demon's deep voice. "You're seal hasn't really been active for a long time Kit," he continued.

"Wh... Y-you mean you've been free? But why.. d-didn't you..." Poor Naruto could hardly speak around his panting.

"Why didn't I leave?" he finished for him. "I could have. What nobody seemed to take into consideration in that pathetic village, was that the chakra that originally powered the seal was that human's life-force, or what was left of it. Since he was human and mortal, that life energy had to run out sometime. At that point, your own will-power would have been essential in keeping the seal intact. Those morons never bothered to tell you that I was there, so you never did take over the powering of the seal when you should have." Kyuubi was shaking his head, apparently appalled by human stupidity. At that point I don't think I could really blame him. I hoped the council members felt like idiots rights then.

"So that's the real reason Yondaime said Naruto was a hero. He was supposed to dedicate his life to keeping that seal intact for the sake of the village," Neji murmured.

"I told you, I don't care about your damn village. The whole damn incident was pointless," Kyuubi growled. He was still holding Naruto's hands and was even rubbing his thumbs over his knuckles. I was growing more disturbed by this with each passing second. "I stayed because I didn't want to leave you alone Kit." Naruto's eyes were closed again as he seemed to be trying to will away his discomfort. Kyuubi gave him a look that was both fond and concerned, and my own concern rose even higher. I was beginning to form another theory as to why Naruto hadn't returned.

"Are you saying you actually _care_ about Naruto?!" Ino exclaimed loudly before staggering back as she probably realized that she shouldn't call that kind of attention to herself. Kyuubi leveled a glare at her.

"That kind of thinking is what got you people in trouble in the first place. You're so quick to assume that a demon is a reckless monster, without feelings. The balance of good and evil is a major component of _all_ sentient beings. But a demon tries to pass through your territory and you just _have_ to attack it." He was shaking his head again, a look of disgust on his face. "My host, was the only one, who never thought that way. He was the only useful human in the bunch, and the rest of them treated him like garbage. At first I wanted to stay a while longer because I knew that my leaving the child wouldn't have lifted the stigma. His life would not have gotten any better, and he would lose the benefit of my protection and advanced healing." While everyone was still reeling over this, he directed his attention back to Naruto. "I admired your character Kit and that spirit of determination. You were very strong for a human and much more open minded than any others I encountered. I grew attached to you and I found that I didn't like to think of your mortality. I have become so used to your constant presence, that I didn't want to lose you and be left alone again. So I decided to finish the job that was begun by the natural flow of my chakra within you. I made you a demon like me."

"You... on purpose?!" Naruto gasped.

"It will be better this way Kit. They would never have given you all that you deserved. Now nothing will hurt you again." Kyuubi's voice grew softer and he leaned in close to Naruto. "We can be together _always_. You can have a real family. I will take care of you." I wanted to howl out my pain and rage. Naruto had chosen the demon over Konoha, over me. Of course in that moment, I couldn't think straight enough to remember that as far as Naruto knew, I was not an option.

"A family?" his voice was small and cracked, his eyes shining with welling tears. Kyuubi gave a fanged smile, one hand reached up to brush Naruto's smooth cheek and he leaned into the touch with a small sigh of relief. Some of the flushed color seemed to fade just a little.

"Oh yes. We could get started on it right now," Kyuubi purred. "I'm having a hell of a time resisting as it is. You have no idea how absolutely _delicious_ you smell." I wanted to DESTROY him!! I could have smashed my own skull open with a rock just to take out the instant bombardment of emotion those words slammed into me!

"I want.. I can't... think like this!" Naruto's body was almost writhing in place with his need and discomfort. "I've never felt... I didn't know it would be so... NnnKyuuuuubi!" he groaned. The sound shot through me like no sound ever had before. If only it were 'my' name. "How long will I feel like this?!" He was clutching desperately at his flack jacket, his head thrown back, perhaps in a mindless attempt to get some cool air on his neck.

Finally he just tore the vest off, followed closely by the mesh shirt he wore under it, though I doubt if that helped much. I caught myself staring, like some creepy old pervert, at his flushed and shuddering body and wrenched my gaze away to narrow-in warily on the demon fox. I was suddenly very aware of his lack of clothing, though the tails swirling around him hid anything of importance. I wanted to do something, anything to get him away from Naruto, but this was just a vision and I could do nothing but watch.

Suddenly, the atmosphere seemed to change. It was like the air had gone still. Kyuubi's eyes shifted, his body tensed and he let out a low growl. His head swiveled to look at the many tails waving behind him as a breeze blew over him, bringing with it the tingle of a foreign chakra. The demon turned back to face forward and something sharp and unseen blew on the suddenly harsh wind, glancing off his face. His head reeled to the side at the blow that didn't seem so much painful as insulting. His gaze settled ahead once more only to be knocked to the other side by a second imperceptible blow. Something was challenging him, but I could see nothing around us. It seemed Kyuubi new what was happening though and he'd had enough.

"Kit, you're going to have to hold out a bit longer," he said as he carefully moved Naruto off more to the edge of the clearing and the slight shelter of one of the huge tree trunks. He settled him between two of the large roots and seemed to have some difficulty letting go of him. He backed off quickly when he did and Naruto leaned weakly against the thick trunk with a groan.

Kyuubi went to stand in the middle of the clearing, and casting a last quick glance at the blond, he dropped his hands to the ground as his body began to change. His limbs shifted and red fur sprouted over his skin. In the space of a few moments a fox the size of a work-horse stood in the place of the man, nine tails lashing angrily about. The fur on his shoulders prickled and stood straight on end and his head dropped low to the ground in a threatening pose. The rumbling growl he let out this time was accompanied by a burst of red chakra. It sprang from his body in twisting, violent rivers. The chakra pouring from him suppressed the air around him, stifling the wind. And then the mysterious challenger appeared.

He seemed to materialize as he stepped out of the undergrowth. He was a tall willowy man, all pale skin, pale hair and pale eyes. He was draped in some strange diaphanous material which was also... yup, you guessed it, pale.

"Do you dare challenge me?" Kyuubi's voice in this form was a dangerous rumble.

"I do," came the airy reply."If you intend to claim the young one."

"He is mine!" Kyuubi roared.

"You know the rules. You must accept any challenges. All rights go to the victor. He is powerful, healthy, young and easily trainable and he smells extremely fertile. I believe it's worth the challenge." It angered me to no end to hear Naruto's potential as a mate being discussed as though this arrogant ass were simply buying cattle or some such thing. And my frustrated psyche was simply refusing to process the use of the word _fertile_.

"Your challenge is accepted. Prepare yourself... for your humiliating loss!" Kyuubi growled, and I almost wanted to cheer him on for a split second before I remembered myself.

The wind picked up, growing faster and more vicious. It centered around the figure that faced the fox, swirling round and round savagely and the leaves began to rip away from their summer hold on the surrounding trees. Ino, Neji and Kiba backed up warily, arms lifted to shield their faces from any stray debris.

"How the hell are we gonna explain all_ this_ to the Hokage? It's freakin' insane!" Kiba's wide eyes looked to Neji for some response.

"I imagine that will depend on the outcome of this fight." God, Hyuuga can be useless sometimes.

The leaves were swarming together in the wind, forming a funnel that built into a tremendous cyclone. The currents parted and began to take on the shape of a body that stood upright on two legs with abnormally long arms. More leaves continued to rip from the trees and the shape grew ever taller until it towered above the trees before Kyuubi, staring down at him through empty, formless eyes.

The killer intent radiated threateningly from the massive entity and the fox slunk closer to the ground and closed his eyes. The rippling streams of red chakra grew brighter, moving with immeasurable ferocity. His steady growl change to a snarling roar, higher pitched at first but growing deeper and louder as his form grew in size to match the veritable tornado that faced him. Now, towering above us all, the earth shaking roar the fox let out, had the swirling body of wind and leaves assuming a defensive position. Kyuubi sneered at him.

The grossly disproportionate figure launched without warning at Kyuubi at lightning speed and the demon fox was tackled, caught off guard. He lost his balance and fell to the side, splintering a tree beneath his weight. The entity rolled out of reach of the swift counter-attack and Kyuubi flipped angrily back to his feet, sending a chakra infused roar hurtling toward the barely tangible shape of his opponent. The entity raised gigantic arms to ward off the attack but the intense chakra burned through the leaves that made up it's body. The bracing form began to disintegrate and Kyuubi kept up his attack, ensuring the enemy couldn't defend when he finally pounced forward with all his might for a finishing blow.

Concentrating some chakra to his hind quarters and claws, he stretched out for a flying hind kick to the weakening body of leaves. The giant, nine-tailed fox flew through the air and landed with a thunderous sound, without hitting his target. Spinning quickly he slid to a new position and went on the defensive as he searched for the entity that had seemingly disappeared. The air was still and I could practically hear his apprehensive thoughts. Had he defeated this thing already? The wind blew through the trees behind him and he spun again, bracing low just as the entity took shape once more and sent a torrent of debris flying in his direction with an eerie howl.

Kyuubi cringed slightly and let his chakra explode in a shock-wave around his body. The wind could not reach him and the wave deflected the debris back at the monstrous creature. The great fox watched in amazement as the form dissipated and a horrific funnel reassembled it away from the danger. We were all coming to realize that this entity was immune to such physical attacks.

Kyuubi tested this theory by throwing himself forward and swiping at it with his lethal claws. Again the thing disintegrated and rebuilt itself behind him. Kyuubi back off warily. The riotous vortex of red Chakra faded as he summoned chakra back into his body. Only fast, high-chakra attacks would have any effect. He focussed it to his claws once again until they began to glow distractingly with it. Then he roared, sending a blast of raw chakra at the form.

The entity braced for the attack, continuing to regard him with those empty eyes. It seemed Kyuubi was counting on this. He pounced once again swiping his left paw at it's face. Of course it took form behind him again, but Kyuubi flipped over in a summersaulting motion and used his hind claws to cut channels of chakra through the air leaving deep claw marks in both the ground and the enemy's shoulders. Jumping to meet his opponent, he was given no time to admire his handiwork. He launched at the creature again, claws slicing downward. The creature had already recovered enough to note it's danger and once again it used it's vanishing technique.

Kyuubi kept up with the entity's movements, his hind legs straining to propel his body toward his target with a second bound. He swiped at the form in midair. His claws were out of range but chakra extensions sliced through to air faster than the entity could react. The blades of chakra bit deep into it's body, criss-crossing over it's chest. The intense heat of the demonic chakra singed away the leaves and Kyuubi watched as bright blue-green chakra shot from the wound he'd created, oddly resembling air leaking from a compressor hose. He leaped at the creature again before it could recover, with an explosive, chakra assisted bound.

Trees flattened like wheat in a storm as the concussion of the giant fox's landing burst through the forest. Kyuubi focused chakra to his razor sharp teeth as he bit at the neck of the grotesquely leaking figure, hot air steaming out around his mouth. He held fast with a determined grip. As the chakra sprayed from the entity, it began to shrink, writhing in pain and struggling to retaliate. With the chakra binding grip on it's neck, it couldn't use it's vanishing technique without tearing itself apart. It punched and kicked at the demon fox in a rage but the fox held on. The loss of chakra was weakening the blows significantly anyway.

Kyuubi summoned his mighty chakra and built it up all around him. The creature froze as the writhing mass of red chakra began to form. The apparition of a monstrously enormous fox head bore down over him. The inconceivable jaws opened wide blotting out the sun with huge sharp teeth in an endless black chasm that threatened to fall upon the fox's enemy and swallow it down whole.

Finally the challenger was forced to retract it's chakra, dropping the monstrous guise, leaving only the original demon's form. A sure sign of surrender. With one final swirl, the wind died down again completely, letting the man's long pale hair fall limp around him once more. Tight lipped, he gave a curt bow to the victor and turned away without a word, gliding off into the half destroyed forest and disappearing.

* * *

(A/N; Gotta give a big shout out to Rifter. Fight scenes aren't exactly my strong point, which is the main reason I usually avoid canon-verse Naruto fics. He was a big help, keeping this last scene remotely interesting. So, yay Rifter! He's the man!... And now he's preening like an idiot. XP) 


	5. Chapter 5

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 5

I was so caught up in the action playing out before me that I was taken by surprise when it began to fade quickly as Ino withdrew the chakra that was powering her jutsu. It felt quite a bit more abrupt than the last time and it took everyone in the circle a little time to shake themselves back into reality. It was a lot to take in, such an awesome sight. It was was so very rare for a human to get to see two demons battle... and live to tell of it. The elders all looked quite somber. Perhaps they were contemplating the mistakes that they had made in dealing with Naruto that had led to this point. I could relate.

"How could this have happened? How did the Kyuubi even manage to create a new body?" somebody finally whispered in an awed tone.

"I was watching with the byakugan," Neji answered. "It appeared that he simply gathered all the basic components of a living body from the elements of the world around him."

"It's understandable really," Tsunade nodded sagely. "Demons are immortal, and the Fourth never did actually destroy him. As long as his spirit still exists and he can still wield his chakra, there should be nothing that he can't fully recover from." A moment later, the outburst I had been expecting began.

"What _was_ that thing?! We need to know exactly where you were when this happened."

"That's right! We must consider the possible repercussions on the village of..."

"We should calm down," said Tsunade firmly, heading everyone off before things could get out of hand.

"The Kyuubi honestly didn't seem the least bit concerned with the village," Neji mentioned. "I don't believe he has any intentions of ever returning to this place. All he wanted was Naruto." I growled before I could stop myself, and at the time, I didn't even care. The Hyuuga shifted his penetrating gaze to me just for a second. I scowled back and he looked away disdainfully.

"But what about that other one?" Someone was saying.

"Kyuubi called it a Sky Phantom. A type of wind demon..."

"It's impossible to get a hold of! Only something like Kyuubi, that's capable of those massive chakra attacks can hurt it! How are we going to defend the village against that?"

"Perhaps if we could find a way to trap it. Or create a shield of some sort."

"I don't imagine that it is any more of a threat now than it ever was before we knew of it's existence," Neji put in rationally.

"Never mind that," one elderly woman rebuked bitterly. "The fact of the matter is that the Kyuubi has been unleashed and we have no real guarantee that it won't decide to take revenge on the village that imprisoned it."

"And now Naruto himself is a demon as well," another agreed. "He could wreak his own vengeance."

"Kyuubi alone has nearly destroyed the entire village once. We would be fools to be caught unprepared."

"It may be best to take control of the situation by launching a preemptive strike."

"Haven't any of you been paying attention?" I snapped. "Naruto would never harm this village! Every one of you acknowledges that he has good reason to feel vengeful. Yet you sit here and continue to worry about yourselves, looking for _more_ trouble. Do you not feel an ounce of _remorse_ for what he's had to endure when not one of you was willing to help him?!"

"Uchiha..." Tsunade started, but I cut her off.

"Never mind. I'm finished," I said, scowling about the room before I headed for the window I came in from.

"Neji, where is Naruto now?" she continued, turning away from me.

"We have no idea. Kyuubi took him away somewhere."

"Yeah, he didn't exactly give us a mailing address y'know," I heard Kiba snark sarcastically, followed by a pained grunt, presumably from Ino elbowing him again.

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Once outside, I jumped to the awning over the buildings main entrance and sat there to brood, er... wait. I wasn't nearly satisfied with the information that I'd accumulated, but at this point, I knew exactly what direction the discussion was going to take, and it wasn't anything I was interested in. The council had been thrown for a loop and was going to go on a rant about possible dangers and what defensive measures needed to be taken. They were too caught up in trying to cover their wrinkled asses to pay attention to anything else. Naruto's situation had already taken a back seat.

I couldn't give a flying fuck about them and their worries and regrets. I had my own to dwell on, and all I wanted to hear about was Naruto. I wanted to know every last little thing about what had happened to my dobe. This was possibly the most catastrophic turn of events that could ever have happened. How could he not be coming back?! It just wasn't _possible_ that I wouldn't get the chance to apologize.

I messed up, horribly. I know that. But it couldn't just _end_ that way! I'd done stupid things before, but it always worked out. He always forgave me. He couldn't just be gone!That wasn't how it worked. I LOVED him damn it!!... Shit, I really loved him... But he didn't know that, did he?

I had no idea how long I'd been sitting there above the door, trying to wrap my brain around all this potent information. Each fact that had been thrown at me had landed like a solid brick. Now I felt like I had to dig and heave and fight my way to the surface. Who would have ever guessed that Naruto's total obliviousness to my feelings was just because his own sexuality hadn't even been awakened yet?

It was killing me to realize that he could have probably returned my feelings, if I'd just been more patient... or if I'd been willing to give it a chance at all. I had deliberately not considered him as a real potential partner, no matter _how_ much I wanted him. Partly because I refused to allow myself to be rejected. It was horrible to see how much my own_ preemptive_ rejection had hurt him. I dumped that pain onto him, to avoid feeling it myself. He was too right all those times he called me a bastard.

I needn't have worried about rejection, if I could have just pulled my head out of my ass and told him how I felt. But then there was also the fact that I knew that he would complicate my future goals and compromise my social standing. Pride was the true bottom line. I could have found solutions to the problem of repopulating my clan. I'm sure the village would have been entirely accommodating. After all, they wanted the Uchiha clan revived as much as I did. Truthfully, I could think of a couple of different courses of action right off the top of my head. I think I had just refused to admit that, because my need for a wife to procreate was a good cover for the _real_ reason I would never be with him.

I honestly hated the idea of having to deal with the constant derision that would surely come of being romantically involved with the most hated person in Konoha. There it is... I know what you're thinking right now, and I deserve every bit of your contempt. Poor Naruto had to deal with everyone's hateful attitudes every day of his life. He was my best friend and I owed him my life many times over. But even though I needed him, wanted him and took all that he had to give me, I refused to share in his problems. I wouldn't lower myself to help him carry his burden. My own selfishness had already sabotaged me on numerous occasions, but apparently I hadn't been quite enough of a _genius_ to make the connection until then.

I sneered nastily to myself, thinking of how now, only _now_ when he was gone, did I come to decide that I couldn't live without him. How moronically cliche! The thing was, that even though I was planning on making a life with someone else, I'd never once pictured that life without him in it, in some capacity. I had foolishly assumed that I could never lose him. He was Naruto! He couldn't _be_ lost, even if I'd wanted to get rid of him! I don't know why it never even _occurred_ to me that he might find someone else to settled down with. I stupidly failed to think about how it would make me feel if, and when that happened.

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Finally, I caught sight of the team leaving the building. They walked out right under me and stood together in the middle of the street, talking about something for several minutes. Then they split off and went in different directions, Neji wandering off without a glance back, while Ino and Kiba waved goodbye to each other. They were probably heading home to get some rest. Come to think of it now, they all looked pretty tired. Not that I cared back then. All I was interested in was getting the rest of the story, and I knew they had more information.

Making an instant decision, I silently trailed after Ino with a single-minded determination. I watched impatiently as she stopped to say hello to a few people along the way that she obviously hadn't seen in months. When she began to pass by a deserted park, I decided that I'd waited long enough and this was as good a place as any. I jumped down and cornered her. She seemed slightly startled but then just gave me a _look_ when she saw my face. She wasn't too surprised to see me.

"What do you want Sasuke?" she asked, though I'm sure she knew the answer. My response was straightforward. I wasn't about to go beating around the same damn bush again.

"I want to know the rest. Tell me what happened to Naruto. Or better yet, show me." She looked at me warily.

"Show you what?" The evasion was too obvious.

"The rest, damn it," I growled. "The council may have gotten side-tracked. When it comes down to it, they don't really give a shit about where Naruto ends up anyway. But don't think for a second that I didn't notice. You cut that memory short, on purpose. You didn't let it run it's full course and fade out like before. Now I want to know what the fuck happened! "

"You're not my superior, Uchiha Sasuke! And it's none of your business!"

"You're damn right it my business. My best friend is supposedly never coming home. I need to know everything. Now show me the end!" I quickly grabbed her hands, and held on hard enough to make her wince, wishing that I could make the connection myself. She tugged at her hands but I wasn't letting go.

"You don't even know the meaning of the word _friend_. I don't have to show you anything else. Naruto deserves his privacy."

"I need to know exactly what that fucking fox did to him! If you don't just show me, I'll search out whatever you're hiding by any means necessary. Even if I have to track them down myself." I glared hard at her for a long moment and she simply glared right back. Finally I sighed and loosened my hold on her slightly. "Damn it Ino... Please." My jaw tightened and I held my head high, refusing to acknowledge that I'd essentially just begged her.

"You're either a sadist looking for another way to hurt him, or you're a masochist looking to hurt yourself. Either way I really shouldn't show you anything." She sighed in return. I held her gaze steadily until she finally nodded. "You're probably going to wish you'd never asked me."

With that warning, I was whirled back into her memories. As the connection was made I found myself reviewing the tail end of Kyuubi's fight with the wind demon. The sight was no less awe inspiring the second time around, but I was impatient to get it over-with and see what came next. This time, when the defeated wind demon, disappeared the focus was returned to Kyuubi.

The giant fox, snorted, tossing his head indignantly before shrinking slowly back down below tree level and then shape-shifting back into human form, leaving only those fluffy tails waving behind him again. He wasted no time directing his attention back to Naruto. With barely a glance back at the rest of the team, he glided back over to the boy that still huddled at the base of the large tree. Naruto let out a piteous whine that I'm sure would have tugged at both the heart-strings and the loins of anyone with a pulse.

"Naruto," the demon called. He seemed to be restraining himself from reaching out to touch him.

"I... God I _need_..." The quiet plea drifted off as Naruto obviously wasn't quite sure where he was going with it. Kyuubi was murmuring something to him. It met my ear as a low, steady hum of indefinable sound. Frustrated, I tried to make out the words. Then Naruto was responding. "You fought... for me?" Kyuubi answered something in the affirmative.

Once again I caught myself wishing I was really there. I wanted to shout out that_ I _had fought for him plenty of times. We had fought for each other. We had fought together and we _belonged_ together. Such thinking was useless though. Besides I definitely hadn't given him the impression that we belonged together the last time I saw him. I hadn't fought for him. Not the way Kyuubi just had, the way I _should_ have, for the honour and the privilege of his company. He was the one who had fought for me.

There were a few more endless moments while Kyuubi continued to speak to him like he was weaving some kind of hypnotic spell. I mentally growled when I saw his hands finally come up to rest on Naruto's shoulders, grasping them a little tighter, then massaging slowly. I wanted so badly to know what he was saying, though now I wonder what for. So I could refute every word of it when I chased them down? I've had plenty of time to think it over since then. It was already too late, even then as I was desperately trying to swallow the magnitude of what had occurred. Even as I tormented myself with this very vision. There was no way to take it all back. Naruto had already made his choice and if demons mate for life, then there was already nothing that could be done.

One of those clawed hands was now sifting gently through Naruto's hair. That beautiful, soft hair that I had longed to touch myself so many times. It hurt. It felt like a real physical pain, to helplessly watch someone else touch what I had always secretly thought of as mine. I just continued to wait through it though, forcing myself to watch him do the things that I'd been too cowardly and, ironically, too _proud_ to do myself.

I caught the faint sound of Naruto's broken voice whispering something. He was looking up at Kyuubi now and he seemed the barest inch away from delirium. Whatever the demon's answer was, it brought tears to his purplish-blue eyes, that began to stream unchecked, and possibly unnoticed down his cheeks. Then he slowly raised himself up and put his arms around the demon and I knew all hope was lost.

I stared, numbly as their bodies pressed together, Kyuubi's arms lifting to hold Naruto tight. Naruto buried his face in Kyuubi's neck and the demon began to pat his back. It was almost morbidly fascinating to see the way that small, comforting motion grew into long strokes that eventually spread over his entire back and even began to slide up and down his sides as well, turning into a full exploration of his exposed torso. Naruto arched easily into each stroke like a cat, apparently loving every second of it. The flush seemed to be receding slightly though it may well have been taking what was left of his mind with it.

The first kiss was like a stab straight to my heart. The way Naruto fell into it and even begged for more when they pulled apart for a moment of breath, was a harsh twist of the knife. Kyuubi oh so obligingly kissed him again and a part of me wanted to tear out my own eyes while another part couldn't help but continue to look. Perhaps just for the confirmation or maybe to punish myself. I'm still not really sure.

Kyuubi was kissing along Naruto's neck, then slowly licking the elegant lines of his collarbones as he lowered him to the mossy forest floor. The noises Naruto was making, most definitely indicated his approval, and he limply allowed himself to be maneuvered into position. Both of them were starting to glow with chakra. I didn't really understand what was going on as the purple and red chakra began to charge the air, swirling together around them. Soon the two forms were becoming difficult to see. If I'd had the use of my sharingan I might have been about to see clearly but in retrospect, it's probably a good thing that I didn't.

Ino was asking what was going on, and Neji was speculating that this was likely a natural component of the demon mating process, possibly meant to warn off other demons or maybe having to do with that _imprinting_ thing that Naruto had mentioned before. I wasn't really paying attention to his litany of reasonable explanations. My attention was entirely taken with what was going on inside that chakra shield. I could make out what I was sure was Kyuubi, removing Naruto's pants, and the realization that this was about to happen, or had in fact, already happened, was tearing through me, mangling my higher brain functions.

I was starting to really, _really_ want to stop watching now, but Ino hadn't stopped watching. (Bitch was probably loving it, and wishing she could see better.)

"Uh, guys," Kiba said, sounding extremely uncomfortable. Ino finally turned away to look at him. "Maybe we should, um... go... somewhere? I mean, this is kinda private isn't it? I don't think we should just stand around watching."

"We can't really leave without talking to Naruto," Neji stated simply.

"It's not like we can really see much of anything anyway Kiba," Ino put in. I spared a moment's thought to scoff at this. She was the one who'd refused to show me what happened based on the 'it's private' argument.

Her line of vision turned back to the nearly opaque barrier of demon chakra. There was a shadow of the two lost in the cloud, really only recognizable by the rhythmic motion. Then suddenly they must have changed their angle, or their proximity to the edge of the foggy swirling chakra and I got a hazy glimpse of Naruto's face contorted in passion as he leaned back on the chest behind him. Kyuubi's mouth was attached to his neck, one strong arm wrapped around his upper body from behind with Naruto's hands clinging to that muscled forearm for support.

I saw no more. Somehow, I managed, with all my willpower to rip myself away from Ino in that moment, cutting off the connection all at once. The stinging backlash of the abruptly severed tie was nothing compared to the way my mind and heart screamed at what I'd just witnessed. That single image would be burned into my skull for the rest of my days. What was a pounding headache compared to _that_?

"Owww!!! God DAMNit!! Fuck, Sasuke! What the hell?!" Ino apparently didn't share my view on the insignificance of the headache. "You can't just cut me off like that you asshole!! Oww Fuck that hurts!" I just couldn't feel sorry for her. Not enough to feel guilty about causing her head to feel like it was going to explode,.. because I felt the same way and I almost welcomed the distraction of it.

"I hope you're fucking happy Uchiha! You _knew_ what you were going to see damnit! I told you that you wouldn't like it you fucking masochist!" Ino turned and flounced off indignantly, massaging her temples and hissing curses at me. I'm beginning to think she was right about me being a masochist. I don't know that I've ever done anything in my life that didn't just bring me more pain.

* * *

(A/N; Hahahahahah! Suck on_ that _Sasuke!! Man, he's so easy to torture. I guess I'm the sadist here. Next chapter is Naruto's pov again, and I'm probably going to have to up the rating on this fic. Hope you guys are happy!) 


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning**: To anyone who didn't notice the change in rating - Smut ahead!

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 6

He offered me everything I had ever wanted and thought I could never have. Home, family security, love, all that I could ever ask for, if I would just reach out and take it. All he asked that I give in return, was myself. It shell-shocked me that anyone, least of all an amazing powerful demon, would want _me_ in the first place. His tone was low and soothing as he reassured me.

"It's okay now. The sky phantom is gone Love. I'll take care of you." If I wasn't so flushed already I'm sure I would have blushed at hearing that voice purring such endearments to me.

"You fought... for me?" I asked incredulously. He had battled so fiercely over me! Nobody had ever... It was just completely unprecedented.

"Of course I did," he answered. "I wouldn't abandon you now. I've stayed with you this long, watching you, protecting you and doing what I could to ensure that I would have the chance to keep you. I have no intention of giving you up to anyone else so easily."

The odd mix of possessiveness and tenderness in his manner was exciting. I suppose it was partly my instincts that were attracted to it, to him. From that purely animalistic point of view, he was the perfect potential mate. He was more than strong enough and was already proving himself to be attentive. My body's cravings were becoming harder to take by the second. I wanted nothing more than to give myself over to his care.

His hands on my skin sent delightful shivers through me, the tension starting to bleed away as his fingers kneaded gently over my shoulders. His murmured persuasion continued to flow into my ear, warming both mind and body.

"I've lived a long time already, spent decades, centuries even on my own. I've never needed anyone. But you, I know you as well as you know yourself, and you are different. You are something completely unique. A few short years together wasn't nearly enough. I'll protect and care for you. We can make a home together. I know you would bear us the most beautiful kits, love." His hand was stroking through my hair now, driving my heightened senses crazy.

_Kits_, I thought. _Children_. Yes I wanted children. I wanted a home. I wanted a family, people to love me. I wanted to see little faces looking up at me like I was the sun and the moon to them. I wanted to create something precious and watch it grow and feel such pride in it that I might burst. I'd never wanted it more than I did in that moment. That may be because it was finally being laid out so temptingly before me,.. or it could have had a little something to do with the hormones.

I looked up into his unnaturally perfect face and found the tenderness written in his eyes as he smiled down at me. It was accompanied by a tightening, strained look though, and I realized that he was struggling to hold himself in check. The way he was being so careful to try and make sure that I was comfortable, that I approved, was perhaps more convincing than anything.

"Naruto... I can help you," Kyuubi was saying as I started to squirm all the more, another wave of need wracking my body. "I want to help you. I just need you to understand what that means. I'll never leave your side. I will keep you forever. You will be mine. Mine alone. There is no backing out of this decision. I will give you what you need, now and always, but you must give me _yourself_."

I could hear his voice growing rougher and I knew it was taking more effort to fight his instincts with every passing moment. I imagine that the pheromones were just pouring off of me at that point. My own discomfort was certainly pressing enough. Every inch of me that he wasn't touching was crying out for relief. And he was kneeling so close, enduring it all with me until I gave an answer one way or another.

"Will... you love me?" I asked breathlessly. I'm sure I sounded more pathetic right then than I ever had before in my life, but I was starting to get lightheaded and I couldn't find it in myself to be embarrassed about it. I really did want to know, quite desperately.

"Yes." He answered firmly, without a hint of hesitation. "Yes I will. I promise by every last star in the sky, that I will love you for the rest of my immortal existence."

On hearing this solemn promise, I think I may have actually started crying, but if so, then I just ignored it as I carefully uncurled myself to kneel before him and slid my arms around his shoulders. The relief was instant. I can't even describe the sensation that rushed through me. I just _had_ to have more. I pressed my entire front against him mindlessly, and exhaled forcefully as I felt his arms encircle my waist, pulling me in tighter. The contact eased the burning feeling that had been torturing my every nerve.

The scent of him was overwhelming to my highly sensitive nose. The mild release of some of the tension in my body, had me dropping my head against him and I couldn't help but breathe him in like a dying man gasping for air. He smelled so amazingly good, and I shamelessly buried my nose in his neck. He had a wild, hot almost electric scent and it was laced with a sort of musk that drove my body crazy. Later on I would learn that this was the scent of his arousal, but at the time I was pretty clueless and just acting on instinct.

He was rubbing my back in a motion that I knew was meant to be soothing, but the lengthening strokes of his gentle hands only fired my craving for more. He would touch one spot and it would calm the urge, only to have the needy burning return full force as his hands moved on. I simply couldn't get enough of him. It was like... treating the symptoms of an illness without touching on the source of the problem. I knew I needed something more than this torturously pleasant petting.

His touch was growing firmer, moving to my sides and I literally purred at the feeling of his strong fingers gripping my hips. The sound seemed to set him off and the next thing I knew, his lips were on mine. His hands pulled my hips hard against his and I could feel the length of his erection grind against my own. It drew my focus in to that spot and if I wasn't so caught up in my need at that moment I would have taken a little time to marvel at the novelty of the feeling. I'd never been aroused this way before and the heat and the rushing, tightening, churning feeling that centered deep and low was a totally new experience.

The second I groaned, Kyuubi tongue was sneaking into my mouth. The connection helped that much more and felt so good that I found myself wrapping my own tongue around his in an attempt to get more, to keep a hold on that intimacy. He let his tongue dance with mine, his motions at once smooth and ravenous, until we were forced to pause and breathe properly. I missed the feeling as soon as it was gone, the flaring of urgency, instantly sweeping back over me. I'm sure I let out a whine.

"More!... Kyuubi, please," I vaguely heard myself saying, thrusting my hips automatically into his. He didn't make me ask twice. The words were barely out of my mouth before he was kissing me again, so vigorously that I was panting harshly for breath, my vision growing spotty, by the time he released my lips. His attention shifted to my neck and shudders wracked my entire frame as he alternated between kisses and nips. Now light and soft, now firm and sharp. Teasing mercilessly, as my overtaxed synapses tried to keep up.

Feeling his tongue trailing along my skin, following the line of my collarbone from one shoulder to the other, completely undid me. I could do nothing but moan and whimper as I allowed him free reign over my body. I barely registered the way he was lowering me to the ground until I felt the moss against my ridiculously over-sensitive skin. The sudden, soft but oddly rough texture was almost shocking. Everything was so much more intense than it should have been. The wonders of laying in moss was swiftly eclipsed though, by Kyuubi's lips and hands roaming over me in unpredictable patterns.

There was a hum that was tingling through me, some kind of charge that I could feel vibrating like a spiderweb that's been disturbed by the breeze. Even the air began to feel thick with it and my vision was growing hazy. There were colors swirling together, strange and beautiful. I couldn't figure out what it meant. I just couldn't think. Not with this full body itch and the urgency roiling in my lower abdomen. You have no idea how oddly squirmy and uncomfortable it was to feel the unfamiliar throbbing in my dick along with the rhythmic clench and release of the inner muscles of my ass. I closed my eyes against the dizzy swirling and that only made the feeling that much more obvious.

If you could try to imagine what it would be like if you... let's say, had to pee, for the first time _ever_. Can you just picture how nuts that would drive you, not recognizing that feeling? Then you might have some small idea of what I was going through. (Yes... I know that sounds ridiculous.) What was really making me squirm was the slick, damp feeling between my cheeks. Yeah, those cheeks... (I am _not_ blushing dammit! Shut up!.. Y'know, after the fact, it seemed like a fairly obvious and perfectly logical thing, for a demon in heat to self-lubricate. I mean, I'm not strictly a male, by all accounts. I didn't have much information to go on back then though, and I'll admit that I hadn't actually considered the mechanics before.)

That odd sensation became more apparent as I felt Kyuubi's hands sliding my pants down over my hips. I opened my eyes to look pleadingly at him, not really knowing what to do about it. By then, I could see nothing but Kyuubi. It was as though we were floating away, alone in our own little world. His golden eyes were gleaming as they drank in every inch of me. A distant part of me was unnerved at being so openly displayed, so vulnerable. Right at the moment though I was more interested in doing something about this feeling.

Kyuubi seemed to know just what to do. As soon as he'd tossed my pants aside he was grabbing my hips, pulling me closer to him. He caressed a path down either side of my body, gliding over my chest, flanks, hips and thighs until his hands reached my knees. Then he was spreading my legs wide apart and leaning down to bury his face in my crotch, breathing deeply. This should have been embarrassing, but all I could concentrate on was the hot breath fanning over a region that was impossibly _more_ sensitive than the rest of me.

I was mewling like a kitten, lifting my hips to press into the heat, desperate for more. His tongue on my turgid flesh had me suddenly frozen, taut as a wire. He was making low sounds of approval as he tasted every inch, working his way up to the head. The involuntary gasp I took as he sucked me into his hot mouth might have been the only thing that kept me alive. I seemed to have completely forgotten how to breathe otherwise.

He moved languidly up and down my length while I scrambled for something to hold onto. The moss just tore easily in my grip and I finally ended up grabbing his hair. Before I could get remotely used to _that_ feeling, his fingers were already massaging my entrance and then slowly pushing in. I clenched down automatically and started saying _something_ through my rushed panting. I'm not sure what I said really. It was probably just some incoherent babble, but I'm fairly sure that Kyuubi's name was in there somewhere. That slick, wet sensation increased as his fingers slid in and out, while everything else started to feel so much better. _This_ was what I'd been needing. I found myself wriggling my hips to get more and groaning in both pleasure and frustration.

The next thing I knew, Kyuubi's lips were crushed into mine, his tongue sweeping into my mouth once more, bringing a different flavour with it that, I realized with a start, must be my own. His arms were slipping around, underneath me and holding me as close as possible and I returned the embrace just as tightly, wrapping my legs around him too. I felt the tip of him prodding my entrance and tensed in anticipation, trying to hold still for him. When he thrust inside, my head dropped back, my hips raising to take him deeper. My mouth fell open and I was sure I was going to scream but nothing came out. Somehow I expended all the air in my lungs at once while barely making a sound. Gasping in great gulps of air, I squealed out Kyuubi's name and braced myself as he began working himself in and out of me.

He felt huge inside and rubbed snuggly against my entire passage, sending shocks of pleasure through my already frazzled nerves with each pass. All the discomfort from before was completely forgotten, swallowed up in this pleasure. Kyuubi lifted my hips and pulled away a little. I whined at the loss of full-body contact, but the shift in the angle of his entry, turned those little shocks of pleasure into jolts that had me seeing stars.

I was grabbing at Kyuubi's shoulders, trying to maintain a little more contact, when he suddenly growled and pulled away entirely. My eyes widened as I felt our connection break. For one desperate, breathless instant the thought flitted into my head, that maybe he'd changed his mind and decided I wasn't what he wanted after all. Then he lifted me bodily off the ground and turned me over. He was spearing deep into me once again before I could even protest the loss in the first place, and his thrust rubbed right along that spot inside that felt so amazingly intense. His arms wrapped tightly around me, pulling my back flush against him as he leaned back. Apparently, he had wanted more contact as well, but wanted to be able to move inside me at that same angle.

I quickly reached both hands up to grip the muscular arm that had me pinned across the chest and felt his lips fall to my neck, licking and sucking. My body moved on it's own rising and falling, bucking back frantically to meet him as he built up the tempo. The sweat was slick between us, easing the friction but seemingly doing nothing for the heat.

Gods the heat! It drove me on even as it wore me out. If I hadn't had the incredible things Kyuubi was doing to me to concentrate on, I'm afraid I might have crawled right out of my skin. It grew thicker and more oppressive as the rhythm of our movement fell apart, becoming nothing but a ferocious, messy scramble to reach the very height of satisfaction that we could feel ourselves closing in on. I had mostly lost the capacity for speech but I recall mentally chanting; more, more, more, don't stop, Gods, don't stop.

Then everything exploded and I let out a scream, an unbearable measure of energy filling my being and rushing out with such force, as if I'd just been struck by lightning. Nothing else had a place in my awareness. For that moment, there was only me and this all encompassing feeling. Actually,.. there may not even have been a me. Then I felt Kyuubi's teeth latch onto my shoulder, muffling his loud, rumbling growl as he buried himself as deeply inside of me as he could get and froze, his arms tightening almost painfully around me and his entire body trembling. A wash of liquid heat poured into me and a few shuddering moments later, the tension left him. His arms loosened and he slumped against me, his head dropping heavily onto my shoulder.

I let myself collapse, absently trying to get my breath back, and we slid down to lay across the moss. His weight kept me grounded. At that point I felt completely... new, blank and weightless myself, and while it was novel and freeing, it was also partially frightening and I welcomed the anchor that he provided. I latched onto him comfortably as I breathed an emphatic sigh of relief and drifted gradually into blissful unconsciousness in the protective cocoon of our swirling, colorful cloud.

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I woke slowly, feeling more warm and safe and at ease then I could remember ever feeling in my life. A pleasant smell was teasing my senses and a warm weight rested on my waist. I was covered in something soft and fluffy and pressed against something warm and firm but yielding, that emitted a soothing pulse and rocked me very gently like a calm sea. As my mind returned to me, I realized that the motion I was feeling was breathing. I was cuddled up with Kyuubi under a pile of his copious tails.

My head was tucked under his chin and I must have rolled over to face him in my sleep because all I could see was a blur of skin and fur. Letting out a sigh, I wondered how long I could just lay here. Then I felt Kyuubi's arm give me a little squeeze and his face nuzzle into my hair.

"They're awake." The sound of Neji's voice from somewhere close behind made me stiffen, while Kyuubi let out a soft warning growl.

"Naruto?" Ino questioned softly.

"Dude, I totally didn't really want to stick around and watch you doin' the nasty, but Neji said we couldn't leave... On the upside, my little boy is finally a Man! Yeah!"

My eyes shot open at that, my face instantly heating up at the thought that I had done all of that, right in front of my team. How completely, horribly mortifying! Distantly, I could hear Ino beating up Kiba for his tactlessness. A fully awake fox demon was suddenly rumbling a deep chuckle in my ear.

"Don't worry love. You put on a hell of a show, but only I really got to see it," he reassured me. Somehow, the thought of giving Kyuubi a _show_ didn't really make the blush go away.

"He's right Naruto," Ino agreed hurriedly."We didn't actually see anything... Except for that first kiss. That was so hot!" she finished in a murmur. She must have forgotten, how sensitive my hearing was. Carefully, I sat up, Kyuubi following and pulling me into his lap so that he continued to shield most of my nudity with his tails. "Eeeee! You're so cute together!" Ino squealed.

"...Thanks," I answered, uncertainly. "Could you uh... find my clothes, maybe?" She happily helped me out and once I was dressed, I looked around at all of them, noting the distinct lack of shock or outrage in their expressions. "You guys all seem to be taking this... pretty well."

"We've had a while to digest it, and it's not as if I hadn't considered the possibility of something like this happening," Neji explained. "Although, Kyuubi himself wasn't the exactly the mate that I would have expected."

"Konoha's gonna freak," Kiba put in, helpfully.

"Konoha has nothing to do with anything anymore. Naruto is mine now and he will not be going back there." Kyuubi was obviously quite adamant, but I tried to argue a little anyway.

"I should go back at least long enough to explain to Baa chan and say goodbye."

"Absolutely not. They may do your explaining for you," said Kyuubi sternly, waving a hand to indicate the rest of the team. "I will not give those _people_ a chance to harm my mate and offspring."

"Offspring?" I'm sure we were all thinking it, but Kiba was the one to voice the question.

"Certainly." Kyuubi cocked a brow at what he considered a stupid question. "Naruto is a young, healthy, fertile, demon in his heat and the bonding has been completed. The kit should already be starting to form."

My gaze fell involuntarily to my stomach. I tried to picture it growing big and round with a child and found myself unable to grasp the image, but the idea of having a child of my own brought a little smile to my face even through the shot of fear that it also conjured up. My brows furrowed as I attempted to abstractly _feel_ the new life within me. I came to the conclusion a few moments later that I definitely felt different, but I could identify the feeling as being specifically related to conception.

Then I looked up to realize that the conversation had gone on without me. Kiba still looked shell-shocked and Ino was just grinning from ear to ear while Neji was agreeing with Kyuubi on the likely dangers of me returning to Konoha for _any_ length of time. He followed this up however, with a few questions about outside dangers like that wind demon, asking Kyuubi about the likely-hood of it returning, what else might be out there and what steps he would be taking to protect me. Honestly, it made me feel like he was my father, interviewing my boyfriend to see if he was good enough for his little... girl.

In the end it was decided that it would be best for Kyuubi to take me someplace isolated, while they made their way back to Konoha without me. Kyuubi was going to be guarding me rather jealously over these next months but I solemnly promised that I would contact them in a year's time to let them know I was ok and maybe even set up a visiting system or at least a line of communication.

Konoha may not have been the perfect place for me to grow up, but it had given me friends like these and I wasn't about to let them walk out of my life completely. As I watched them take off, leaving me behind, I thought about some of the other people I'd come to care about. I silently apologized to Baa chan and hoped that Iruka wouldn't worry too much, and for a single sad moment, I wondered if Sasuke would even care.

* * *

(A/N; Yup... There you go. Basically an _entire_ chapter of smut. LOL I dedicate this one to all you little freaks out there. ) 


	7. Chapter 7

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 7

Despite my attempts to research on demons, I truly had no idea what to expect when I was left alone with Kyuubi. Strangely enough, with all the times I've had to fight for my very life, I have to admit that nothing was ever so frightening to me as the sudden realization that I no longer had the slightest clue what the rest of my existence might have in store. Endless days stretched before me, each one entirely blank in my mind. What an intimidating concept!

I realize that technically one never knows exactly what may happen next, but we are usually aware of our basic needs, certain options that are open to us to go about filling those needs, and what we accept as our general place in the world. Our experience helps us to reason out at least a tentative plan for what to do if this or that should occur.

This was different. My mental 'handbook of universal truths' that had been accumulating since birth, might as well be tossed right out the window. There was no telling what parts of it were still going to apply. I knew how to live as a human, how to survive in that world. As a demon now, I couldn't begin to predict how anything would work, what situations might arise or which action would lead to which consequence. Heck! What actions were even possible? What was I capable of now? Was there anything I might be no longer be capable of? The possibilities were simply beyond my scope.

Kyuubi picked up on my feelings right away and thankfully seemed to understand my position to a certain extent. He swiftly comforted me with a reminder that there was very little that could seriously harm a demon and that he would be right there to protect and guide me while I grew accustomed to my new life. A full blown panic attack was averted but some tension remained for quite awhile.

Aside from all of the 'lifestyle changes', I had to get used to Kyuubi himself, and getting to know him was an interesting adventure all on it's own. He had one of those personalities that refused to be categorized. He was funny but serious. He was caring but intimidating, understanding but easily irritated. He thought rather highly of himself, but then he also thought highly of me.

Days went by, then weeks and even months, and we kept moving, not too quickly but steadily. I had no idea where we were going but Kyuubi seemed quite sure of himself so I didn't actually put too much thought into it. I did begin to wonder when we came to a region with rather irregular, hilly terrain that was heavily forested and looked completely untouched, a chain of mountains rising majestically above the tree-line in the distance. Then he stopped leading in one solid direction and began to meander, trailing about here and there, circling widely and sniffing everything avidly, acting like he was searching for something or maybe just scouting the area.

When I asked, he told me it was a bit of both. Then he smirked at me and said he was making sure there were no possible threats to his 'helpless little mate', just to see me blow up at him I'm sure. He loved to tease me at random moments. Then he would just laugh (Well more of a chuckle really. Kyuubi rarely laughed loudly) and either move on, letting me continue ranting while he pretended to ignore me, though I knew he was listening and drawing an unholy amusement from it. Or he would grab me up suddenly and kiss me until I forgot what I'd been pissed about. Sadistic fox...

I got to know more about him over this time as he helped me to understand more about myself, and slowly, I grew to feel closer, more familiar and comfortable with him. He could be so sweet and I reveled in the affection he gave so freely. It seemed that he never missed an opportunity to touch me, even if it was just a hand on my shoulder. Each night, he would pull me into his arms, keeping me warm and safe. It was like heaven to someone like me, who had never been cuddled before. I'm sure that I'm that type that was just born with an insatiable craving for physical contact, and finally after all these years, that need was being met.

On the other hand, he also had a nasty habit of issuing orders to me that he obviously expected to be followed without question. Well you're damn right I questioned it! I wouldn't just back down and do as I was told without getting my two cents worth in. I could see the irritation very clearly in his eyes every time he was forced to explain his intentions to me. For the most part though, he kept his temper fairly well. It's funny that he never did learn to just ask me politely. At this point I honestly don't believe that he ever will.

Sometimes I wondered if he might have gotten more rough with me, if I weren't carrying his child. ( I know better now.) That thought mostly led to other thoughts about the child itself. I couldn't believe at first that it really existed. There was nothing showing yet and I couldn't feel anything moving inside me, so it was nothing more than an abstract concept. It was hard letting go of old paradigms. I may have known for awhile before all this happened that I was probably not entirely male, but it was a surface kind of knowledge that had never quite sunk in.

The idea of actually being pregnant was just hard to accept. It sent my brain into an almost painful tailspin. I came up with all kinds of strange and improbable things to contemplate and worry about. Sometimes I even wished it would just go away and other times I was terrified by the thought of anything happening to it. I had dreams of giving birth and the child dying in my arms, that woke me in tears, and other dreams of somehow hurting or abandoning the poor thing, that likewise had me in tears. I had nightmares about giving birth to a monster and I wondered if there was something wrong with me.

I remember one day when Kyuubi was saying something about the animal attributes of demons and it suddenly struck me that foxes can have four or five kits at a time. My eyes flew open wide as I wondered for the first time, if I should perhaps be worrying about more than one baby! Seeing my expression, Kyuubi frowned at me questioningly and I just blurted out my thoughts in an overly loud and hysterical voice. When he'd finished chuckling at me, he assured me that most types of demons only had one baby at a time. Animals tend to have a higher death rate and very short life spans, making litters necessary for the survival of the species, while demons have all the time in the world, a much greater resilience, and few natural enemies.

It relieved me to hear that there likely wouldn't be more than one, but even one was a stressful thought. Sure I wanted a family, but this had happened so suddenly. I hadn't even been given time to get used to the idea of having a mate, before I was told that there was a baby on the way. Would I be a good parent? What if I failed? I hadn't had any parents of my own, so I had no example to follow. I didn't know if I was ready for this and while a baby in and of it's self was a good thing, it was also scary. Knowing that I would personally be the one bringing it into the world was even scarier.

The good thing about change though, is that new things are always diverting. As long as I was in the middle of discovering something or trying something new, my mind couldn't dwell on worries about parenthood, the familiar life that I had left behind and the mystery that was my future. That kind of thinking was left for the quiet moments that came along as we traveled or when we settled down to rest.

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Kyuubi made himself my teacher and my education was extensive. Nearly everything became a learning experience. So many things had to be explained to me. Things that I knew must be second nature to Kyuubi. I found out quickly, for instance, that demons don't need to eat as often as humans. Kyuubi explained that we simply didn't expend our energy at the same rate and it was replenished in more than one way, so there was less need to intake it physically.

It was really odd for me, not to eat all the time. I used to eat as much as I could get my hands on at one point. I can remember going hungry at times as a child and I had a slight fear of starvation. Now I had no real reason to eat much, but hungry or not, I often felt an unreasonable urge, like I simply couldn't break the habit. It was just one of many things that I had to get used to.

The sheer number of misconceptions that humans had formed about demons was almost overwhelming. Any information that I had come across that wasn't a direct observation of behavioral patterns, was just a bunch of outright lies. They didn't eat humans as a rule, though of course there are always deviants. Some demons were even herbivores. The general demon population wasn't bloodthirsty or destructive either. Actually, like most animals, they rarely attacked without reason. In fact there are a lot more demons out there that humans like to think, and they simply avoid contact with humans whenever possible. With their abilities, it's really pretty easy. If a demon doesn't want to be found or noticed, he usually won't be... Much like a ninja actually... Makes me wonder why they never consider the possibility.

Demons also weren't constrained to one element in their chakra use, as humans believe, though most of them had an affinity for a certain type of attack. Kyuubi himself used fire a lot and was considered a fire demon, but the uses of chakra were limitless and he scoffed at the idea of failing to take advantage of all that was available to him.

It was fun in way and yet extremely frustrating not to know anything. There were lot's of interesting surprises, but I seemed to have essentially lost my independence and that is a difficult thing for anyone to deal with. I asked so many questions, I almost annoyed myself, and I often felt like a child. But he was never patronizing, always allowing me my dignity and keeping his lessons as clear and unassuming as possible. I suppose having already lived as long as he had, it was no wonder that he had more patience with me than the average human would have.

As he went though the day to day routine of living in the way of a demon, he would explain what he did and how and why he did it. If I showed further interest in any subject, he would not hesitate to begin a lengthy lecture on principles and histories and so on, answering any questions I may have had and then some.

Admittedly, I have never been much of a scholar, but I found most of it fascinating and I could listen to his low, throaty voice for hours on end. He had a positively magical voice, both lulling and engaging, that I believe could plant the knowledge firmly into your brain whether you intended to listen to him or not.

Actually, I had to learn not to make my questions too vague, or it would lead to too many different offshoots of information.

When I first realized that I no longer felt any real discomfort from wind or rain, I found this to be kind of incongruent with the fact that my sense of touch seemed sharper than ever. I asked a question about this and Kyuubi simply said that a heightened tolerance came along with the heightened sensitivity. The sensitivity was meant to aid a demon's instincts but it wouldn't be much of an evolutionary advantage if it caused continuous pain and irritation. It might eventually drive you insane if you were unable to cope with it.

That's when I made the mistake of commenting wonderingly on how demons were such heavily instinctual creatures even though they were capable of logical thought, while humans had allowed that sentience to take complete precedence to the point of dulling their instincts almost entirely. Humans usually assumed that the reason for an animal's reliance on instinct was that they were incapable of complicated thinking.

This overly general question on such a loaded subject sparked an incredibly long lecture on demonic history and development. I won't repeat it all to you of course. That would be another story on it's own. It basically boiled down to him explaining that although demons are an ancient race, their longevity means that there have actually been relatively few new generations and some of the eldest still live. Therefore change is a very slow process among them and old ways have not been forgotten. Humans have bred their instincts out of existence through uncounted generations. They evolve much more quickly and change constantly. The upside is an easy adaptability. The downside is the tendency to throw certain older practices and lessons learned out the window until they are rediscovered, meaning that they are forced to endlessly repeat themselves.

I know I can't even begin to tell you all off my experiences in that first year of my new life as a demon. So much happened, or maybe it just felt that way because everything was so new to me. I suppose a normal demon would have thought it a relatively quiet and uneventful period. I however, found myself exited, fascinated, amazed or awestruck so often, I was almost afraid that it might become my natural state of being.

One of the best parts about becoming a demon was learning to interact with and manipulate the chakra of the world around me. When it came to practical application, Kyuubi found me to be a very eager student. One of those things that I hadn't found in the human documentation of demons, was that their longevity was directly linked to their use of outside chakra. Human chakra circulation is internal. Demons circulate all wild chakra indiscriminately, rather than just pouring their own life energy into everything they do. One of the first things Kyuubi began to teach me was how to draw chakra from all the non-sentient things around me.

I was already doing that unconsciously in a way, drawing it in and expelling it like the air I breathed, which constantly re-energized both myself and everything I came into contact with. He said it was the biggest part of being a demon. The trick was to do it consciously and use it for some specific purpose. I imagine it would have been terribly difficult if I hadn't already been a ninja for most of my previous life. At least I could fully understand the concept.

It was different though, I automatically wanted to do it the way I had been used to. Not that it would hurt me if I did. As I said, the circulation was constant anyway, but I could get so much more power behind my actions if I channeled it the way Kyuubi did. Then once I had accomplished that, I still needed to refine my control. Kyuubi could channel chakra with such delicate precision that he could touch a tiny, budding starflower and make it bloom.

I myself could make it disintegrate, explode, burst into flame... you get the idea. Eventually I made it simply bloom, wilt, wither and die all in a second. Then slower and slower until I could stop it at just the wilting part and finally I managed to make it bloom without hurting it, sometimes. I still can't always control it that well but as Kyuubi says, I now have a looong time to fully master it.

The people of Konoha would be very surprised to realize that the great and terrible demon fox that they hate and fear so much, is capable of creating as well as destroying. I remarked on that and he just smirked at me, shaking his head. I was already well aware of his opinion of the villagers, so I just grinned back and asked him if he thought that the human race might ever be able to use chakra the way that demons did. He said that with the way humans adapted, it was possible that they might be able to start small and eventually develope their bodies to the point where they could handle it, if ninjutsu didn't become yet another lost art first.

I got to have lots of practice with the constructive use of chakra when we came to the end of our journey. I'm certain that the only reason we had moved so slowly in the first place was to give him the opportunity to show and tell me some of the things that I would need to know. (Or possibly to give me something to do for as long as possible so I didn't drive myself crazy, waiting out all those months until the baby was due.)

There was no real need for me to take it easy, at least not so early on in the pregnancy. However, the first time that I felt the strange sensation of something moving independently inside me, the leisurely stroll we had been taking around the area instantly became more focussed and he swiftly seemed to find what he was looking for. 'Just the right spot', he'd said. At first I wasn't sure what he was talking about though it certainly it was a lovely place. It was a grove of ancient trees in a hollow dip halfway up a large gradually inclined hill. The plot of land was alive and green, with a lovely scent to it and had a wonderful view while being relatively sheltered, and there was also a cold, clean spring in sight that fed into a small stream a little further off.

Kyuubi got right to work with visible enthusiasm. The slight sense of urgency that rolled off of him made me smile, remembering his reaction that night when I'd told him about feeling the baby move.

His golden eyes had lit up with intense interest and a little hint of excitement as he pulled me close and stroked a gentle hand over my stomach. He knew that he wouldn't be able to feel the movement from the outside yet but he slid down to his knees and laid his ear against my middle, a smile spreading over his face as his extremely sharp hearing picked up the faint second heartbeat that was faster than my own. He had listened intently for a long moment before turning to press soft kisses over every inch of my still flat abdomen, making me weak with pleasure and a lazy contentment. The next thing I knew were his lips on mine, swallowing my pleasured moans as he plunged into me. He made love to me for what seemed like a lifetime, until the vision of the countless stars in the sky melded into the multitude of sparks behind my eyelids.

I shook myself out of my pleasant memory to find that he had already cleared the area around the little grove of any troublesome rocks, brambles and other discomforts or possible hazards. That was when he began the real work. If you could call it that. I almost want to call it art.

Walking up to one of the ancient trees, he laid his hands upon the huge trunk and, with chakra alone, began to slowly bend it to his will. I stood and watched, wondering what he could be doing until the gradual change became noticeable. He explained the method to me as he moved on to the next tree. Then he had me try it as well directing me all the way through and warning me to take it slow so I wouldn't 'traumatize' the tree.

"Old trees are very set in their ways," he said. "We don't want to damage them in any way, and we also want to make sure that it still looks natural."

"What exactly is 'it'?" I asked curiously.

"You'll figure it out soon enough. In the meantime, you can take advantage of the training this provides. Now I want you to move that one in this way." He waved his hand in an arc to illustrate and continued to instruct me. Going through all the biggest trees first. The process was slow and seemingly quite random, and by the end of the first day, I still couldn't see enough of a clear change to show me what we were trying to achieve. I kept at it though. There was something calming about the act and I was pleased when Kyuubi would tell me I was getting better.

We moved on to the smaller trees and Kyuubi seemed to select them carefully, leaving the ones on the outskirts of the grove alone. These trees were easier, though there were more of them and when we had gotten about halfway through them, I began to realize what was happening, They were coming together, bending and leaning in toward one another and they began to resemble walls. Kyuubi had begun to coax certain branches into growing longer and twisting just so, intertwining them together in places to strengthen those walls and create a ceiling.

I grinned excitedly and told him that I understood now and he smiled back and asked me how it felt to be helping to make our new home. Right at that moment, after all this time immersed in his company, months of uncertainty and hoping and learning and letting go...in that moment I was sure I loved him. I knew there would still be moments of doubt to come. Unavoidable moments of pain, of fear, resentment, exasperation and anger, but what are moments in the grand scheme of things, especially for a demon?

I happily worked alongside my mate, painstakingly shaping the rooms of our home. It was nothing like the little apartment I had left behind, or any of the inns I had stopped in on various missions. It was distinctly inhuman and it was beautiful. There weren't all that many rooms really and non of them had doors. There were a couple of sleeping areas with low, dense ceilings that blocked the light and trapped the heat. The other rooms were large and airy with high loosely woven cathedral ceilings that let in a dapple of sunlight here and there, with a few open spots where big shafts of light came through to illuminate everything. The walls were quite loose too, allowing for open windows and letting a bit of a breeze sift through. One of these rooms was left wide and mainly empty. I assumed it was meant as a living room of sorts. The other had a large central pit for a fire. Aside from that, there was something like a courtyard that was completely open air and that made up the entire basis of our home in the hollow.

It was a few weeks after having started when Kyuubi was putting the final touches on the place. He had walled off the courtyard almost impenetrably, so now he was digging a tunnel that ducked under those trees and curved around to come out on the side of the hill. A hidden entrance. That had me grinning, it was such a fox thing to do. Of course he also had to have an emergency back door.

He then moved to the inside and made the little patches of moss grow thicker and spread out to cover most of the general room that would be for lounging and playing and so on, showing me how as he went. Then together, we created a similar but even thicker carpet in the bedrooms, which even crept up the roots and trunks of the trees that made up the walls. The green foliage was encouraged to multiply and fill in any gaps in those rooms and he even had flowers springing up here and there just to make me smile.

The finished product was beautiful and quite comfortable for us. Much too simple and open air for human standards I'm sure, but as we really weren't bothered much by the elements, it was perfect. Kyuubi looked terribly proud of himself as we went out for a walk to do an in-depth survey of our home and the surrounding lands.

"Now you see why I told you this was the perfect spot," he said as we stood at the bottom of the great hill, looking up. "You can't even tell there's a dip there from this far away. Yet from up there we can see everything. Nothing can come through this land without our notice. It's nicely sheltered form the worst of the wind while it lets in the sun. There is clean water running within our wall, the game is plentiful and there is no sign of any demons or humans remotely nearby. The trees are thick and strong enough to offer a great deal of protection. Most demons would balk at the idea of harming such ancient trees anyway, and that's if they could find the place. It's perfectly camouflaged. I left enough of the outer trees alone that it doesn't look like there is anything there but normal forest."

"Yeah yeah, I hear you. It's perfect an all that," I teased, waving him off dismissively.

"You brat," he growled. I could see the little glint of humour in his eye though and I put on my most innocent face.

"There there now. You did a 'wonderful' job 'Kyuu-chan!" I said patronizingly as I gave him a pat on the head. He growled louder and tackled me to the ground. It might have scared a normal person but with as many times as I'd been tackled for real, I could easily tell how careful he was being. When he had finished mauling me, we picked ourselves up to head back home. Just thinking the word still made me almost giddy.

That was the first night that we curled up together in our own personal nest in our own home, and as we lay there drowsily waiting for sleep to take us, I found myself quietly asking why he had taken such pains to make our home hidden and secure. Was he expecting some danger? Because he himself had admitted that there was no sign of any, and that demons were hard to kill and had few natural enemies.

"You don't need to worry about that Love," he whispered. "It's in my nature to be cautious and I just want the best for my family. I will protect you whether I ever need to or not."

A blush and a sleepy grin spread over my face at these words. I had always protected my village and my own special people, and there had been a certain pleasure, a sense of pride, a feeling of usefulness and belonging that had come along with that but it was really nice to be the one that was cared for and protected for once. As much as I had teased him for his seemingly over the top obsession with safety, I honestly loved it and appreciated the sentiment behind it.

Seeing and feeling how much he wanted this, watching him getting excited and working towards it, made me feel like everything would be alright after all. A baby was a big responsibility and I may not know exactly what I was doing but I wasn't alone. I had Kyuubi and Kyuubi was confidence and power and wisdom, and Kyuubi had chosen me.

* * *

(AN; So I'm sorry for the wait. The truth is, this style is a bit harder to write in and it seemed to interest less people than anything else I've written. I felt like maybe this had become one of those stories that people read just 'cause they're bored and have nothing better to do. It's kinda easy to get discouraged I guess, when most readers have an unnatural love of Sasuke and would probably much rather that this whole thing was going in a completely different direction. (No, I'm not about to do that.) Anyway, I took some time off from the writing to do some drawing instead. It was a nice change and I feel somewhat refreshed now. I'm ready to get back on it. I even did an illustration for this fic (amongst other things). It brought my enthusiasm back up and I'll probably do at least one more. There just isn't enough KyuuNaru in the world. XD 

if any of you guys want to see the art, it's at http://yaoi . y-gallery . net/user/danget/ The one for this fic is filtered (meaning porn) so you won't be able to see it unless you're signed in. You might have to get a temporary account.

Oh and I had someone basically tell me that I traumatized them with the gay content of the last chapter. They were somewhat polite about it, but my position on this subject stands. There's only one response I will give to anyone else with a complaint like that: "There is no way in hell anyone who finds homosexuality disgusting should have made it that far into this story. Much less continue to read several pages of the actual sex." Seriously. The whole damn thing's been gayer than a pink hippo in a tutu and a frootloop necklace, having a sing-along with Barbara Streisand! There was never even the 'slightest' indication that Naruto was suddenly going to turn into a girl. It was totally gay from the beginning. I might as well have had a flashing neon sign that said GAY SEX AHEAD!! I had Naruto explain the situation rather thoroughly. You had plenty of chapters to turn back. Hell, I even gave you a freakin' preview in the chapter before, from Sasuke's pov! There was also a smut warning in the chapter heading. Anybody who went ahead and read it... I just don't care.)


	8. Chapter 8

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 8

Things had gotten so incredibly screwed up. Months had passed in a village that seemed almost devoid of life without Naruto. I no longer had his eventual return to look forward to, and from what I had heard, the council wouldn't allow him back into the village even if he'd wanted to come home. Those old fools had been squabbling amongst themselves about defenses and such ever since that day.

At first there had even been some talk of hunting the demons down, but of course they would never actually do that. It would be a useless waste of time and man power. Heaven forbid they leave the village open to attack that way.

I scoffed openly at the blatant display of paranoia. The more time went by, the more certain I became that Naruto would never be coming anywhere near Konoha again. Not to visit and certainly not to attack. This place wouldn't be worth the bother to him. It made my gut clench to think that there was nothing here for him anymore, not even myself, but I was unable to do anything but accept it.

I had been so busy wallowing all this time that it almost came as a shock when Hyuuga Hiashi finally requested a word with me one day. I had all but forgotten about my earlier petition for the hand of his daughter. Apparently, he had been carefully considering it over those months while my mind was otherwise occupied.

I didn't quite know what to feel as he sat across from me, calmly giving his acceptance of my proposal. Before all of this, I would have expected a mild sense of satisfaction. It was nothing to get overly sappy or excited about but Hinata would make as suitable a wife as I could ask for and I would be that much closer to achieving one of my major goals in life. Now though, I was simply numb.

The active part of my brain wondered idly if this wouldn't be yet another betrayal of sorts, but Naruto was out of my reach now (not that he'd ever been mine) and he had never expected anything else of me. If anything, all I would be betraying was my own feelings. As I said though, I seemed to be quite numb. At the moment I wasn't sure that I would feel anything ever again.

For only the barest of instants, I considered calling the whole thing off. However, that would have been extremely foolish. After all that I had given up for the sake of my pride and my goals, there was no point at all in tossing them away now as well. To refuse to walk this path that I had laid out for myself when the alternative, Naruto, was a lost cause already would have been sheer childish stubbornness in the face of practicality. Besides, I had been the one to ask Hyuuga san to consider this in the first place. To turn him away after that would be insulting to him and make me look like an impulsive idiot.

The next six weeks went by in a blur of preparations and well-wishers, self pity, and a fair bit of guilt, if you can believe it. Some might have expected me to be vindictive in a situation like this. I know what you probably think of me at this point. That I'd be the type to blame Naruto for everything, get pissed that _he_ betrayed _me_ and left me behind.

You might expect me to be kind of smug about having moved on, proving that I didn't really need him anyway. I admit that my track record would support such an idea. But it's hard to feel satisfied with that when the person you're trying to prove something to, has no idea of what's going on or even that there was anything you needed to be vindicated for.

Mostly, I had begun to feel sorry for Hinata. She didn't seem at all happy with the arrangement and Ino told me that she'd been depressed ever since they had returned without Naruto, reminding me that she'd always had a crush on the dobe herself. I almost laughed to think of it, though it really wasn't funny at all.

What a pair we made, stuck together and both pining over the same man. I couldn't help but feel like a jerk once again. So soon after discovering that she would never get the chance to be with the one she wanted, she finds herself deprived of any real choice at all. I just had to go and drag another innocent down with me, didn't I? And I still wasn't about to set it right. Once again, for my own selfish pride.

The wedding itself was an exceedingly solemn and traditional affair. Exactly what would have been expected of a union of the great houses of Uchiha and Hyuuga. Hinata dutifully carried out her role, though she lacked the joyful expression of the fairy tale bride.

As I understand, most of the half-witted young women of the village had given her no peace in the last month, bombarding her with squealing, indecent gossip, light-hearted congratulations and jealous sniping. Her lack of enthusiasm seemed to have gone right over their airy little heads. I must admire her ability to take the antics of others in stride but I'm sure it was wearing on her all the same. She really was everything that an Uchiha's bride should be. That was the sad part.

I recall musing throughout the ceremony that things could have been less painful for both of us if Naruto had never existed, only to counter that with the fact that I probably would be a homicidal missing nin right now instead of attending my own wedding.

The wedding night was quite possibly the most awkward event in the history of mankind. There were no witnesses (thank God!) but that didn't exactly do much to alleviate the awkward pressure. It's a good thing that Hinata was a trained ninja or she might actually have started crying or something before I even touched her, and I don't think I could have managed to go through with it at all then. As it was, the whole thing was rather perfunctory. I simply concentrated on not hurting her. I'm sure I didn't succeed entirely, though she bore the discomfort well.

I apologized afterward and both of us understood the unspoken implication that it was meant to include more than just the physical pain. Given the option of sleeping somewhere else if she wanted to, she chose to stay with me and I was grateful for the subtle show of forgiveness and acceptance.

Over time we came to develop a relationship, unlike any other I have experienced. We grew more comfortable with each other. She was the second real friend in my life and in this case the lack of sexual tension made it easier for me to treat her with the kindness she deserved. I didn't feel the need to harp on her or go picking fights just to deal with my unacceptable desire.

One might argue that such a dynamic made for a perfect marriage, and had I never experienced anything different, that might have seemed true. But it lacked that spark of passion that I had once known and lost.

Be that as it may however, there was no denying that I felt a certain type of affection for her and the very platonic nature of those feelings was nearly as much of a relief as it was a disappointment to me. We may not have been in love, but my gentle, placid wife was arguably the exact thing I needed at this point in my life, a soothing balm to my pain and guilt. Her companionship was peaceful and unassuming and she offered me all the freedom and understanding that I required.

In return, I gave her anything and everything that I even suspected she might want. I had initiated this entire situation after all, even without taking Naruto into account, I had still gone about everything all wrong. I had (typically) been a cold, thoughtless ass and went straight to her father, bypassing_ her_ completely and disregarding her feelings and opinions until it was too late.

There was no way to make that up to her and no way to fully repay her for her forgiveness, but the guilt would have eaten me alive if I didn't at least try. So I treated her like the princess that she deserved to be recognized as.

This of course, didn't put an end to my agony. Naruto still made his way, unbidden, into my thoughts on a daily basis. The smallest of things would remind me of him and the self-loathing would come washing back over me. I couldn't seem to put my past idiocy behind me no matter how much time went by.

What was beginning to make that worse as the weeks and months passed, was the fact that I hadn't so much as touched my wife since that first time. The intention here had been to revive my clan. That was the whole reason for this mess. I couldn't bring myself to let go of that goal. That was why I had rejected Naruto, why I had begun the arrangements with Hiashi in the first place.

I had told myself that I needed a strong respectable girl of good breeding to start a family with. What had all seemed so simple and logical - back when I had been convincing myself to ignore my feelings for my best friend - was becoming more painfully ridiculous all the time.

Here I was, having more or less achieved exactly what I had set out to, and I couldn't bring myself to take that last, very necessary, step. If I didn't manage to conceive even one child then I would have turned several lives upside down for nothing!

--

It had been over a year since having learned of Naruto's fate, when a sign of his continuing existence finally came. As it happened, Neji was in my garden visiting his dear cousin that warm autumn evening.

I believe his visits were mainly for the purpose of glaring threateningly at me and making certain that Hinata was being treated decently. His accusing pale eyes glowed rather eerily under the traditional paper lanterns that hung about the area. He never addressed me personally during such visits, as those eyes communicated all that he felt the need to tell me.

It was almost a relief when a rustling in the undergrowth attracted the attention of all three of us. Nobody made a move at first, just concentrating on feeling out the approaching chakra signature for negative intent. Then a large orange frog came leaping out into the light.

I gasped in recognition. It was Gamakichi, the frog that Naruto summoned most frequently. He ignored Hinata and myself, hopping over to Neji.

"Hyuuga, I have a message for you and the brat's other two team-mates." Neji calmly nodded, looking totally unsurprised.

"I had been wondering when he'd get around to contacting us," he replied. "By all rights, he's about two months late."

The frog grinned and gave his approximation of a shrug and Neji sighed.

"We'd best find the Ino and Kiba now then. They'll want to work the meeting time around their schedules before we send our reply. Hinata, I'm afraid I must cut this visit short. I shall speak with you tomorrow. Good evening Uchiha." And then they were gone.

After all this time, Naruto had finally sent a message! It actually shocked me. It was just so sudden and unexpected. After a moment of stunned silence I was filled with elation… for all of two minutes.

Naruto was ok and was ready to contact his old friends and maybe even meet with them. That was wonderful, but I was blatantly not included in that message. Nothing had really changed. It wasn't me that he wanted to talk to. Of course, he probably didn't know if he should try. There was a chance, finally, that I could apologize and attempt to salvage our friendship… at least in part. I knew that I couldn't hope for anything more than that. It was too late for more, but if I could have my friend back.

What if he really didn't want to see me though? He'd have every right to reject my apology after all this time. There's no good excuse for my behavior anyway. His team wouldn't want to let me meet with him. I was sure of that much.

"Sasuke? Are you alright."

Hinata sounded so genuinely concerned. It still amazed me how well she was learning to read me. Not many would have noticed my deepening despair.

"I'll be fine Hinata," I answered. "I think I'm going to go for a walk though. I'll probably be out late. You don't have to wait up."

She nodded silently, still looking worried and stood there watching as I disappeared into the darkness. That night, I walked for an hour and then, driven by frustration, I ran for another two. I couldn't get my mind to stop running in circles for the life of me, so in desperation, I decided to just drink until I stopped thinking altogether.

Konoha doesn't have that many bars, so the popular ones are_ very_ popular. The rest are dives. I ended up in one of those. I couldn't let anybody important catch the great Uchiha Sasuke drunk off his ass. (Solid proof ladies and gentlemen, that my evil obsession with public opinion truly _never_ goes away no matter what!)

It worked. I can say that much. I honestly don't believe I had more than a couple of working brain cells by the time I left that not-so-fine establishment and started teetering off on my way home to my wife.

The thought process of a drunk is impossible to describe, but let's say in the broadest of terms, that my worries about the present issues wound down in the course of the evening. I believe I ended up pouring my heart out to some derelict stranger that just happened to be sitting near me.

A good deal of that night is no better than a very fuzzy memory now, but I do recall a gravelly slur of a voice commiserating sympathetically, bemoaning his own failed relationships and asking what Naruto was like. At my short, stilted and highly ineloquent description, the man raised his glass and said he sounded like a 'hotty'. I agreed emphatically and actually ended up telling this unworthy slob that not only had I blown my chance to be with my obsession, but I had _watched_ while someone else had their way with him.

Somehow, all this led my impaired brain to fantasizing about how amazing he had looked in the throws of passion, conveniently placing myself into the picture in place of the fox demon. Now I had never allowed my imagination free reign like that before, and by the time I left, I was more aroused than I think I'd ever been in my life. I may not remember much very clearly but there's no forgetting the uncomfortable trip home with jelly for legs and a steel rod for a dick!

Hinata was sitting up in bed when I stumbled into our room. I'm sure no self-respecting ninja could have slept through my entry. Things get more blurry after that, a haze of heat and skin and increasing dizziness. Then there was panting, exhaustion, and even with my eyes closed the blackness still seemed to be spinning until it all thankfully melted into oblivion.

I woke up alone, naked and sprawled out across the entire bed and the slant of the sun through the curtains told me that it was early afternoon. The snatches of memory from the previous night that slowly came back to me were enough to make me bitterly ashamed of every last moment. But as the day wore on, Hinata never mentioned a thing, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. It didn't really ease my shame but it did make things a good deal less awkward than they could have been.

--

Over the next several days, I kept a close eye on the activities of the three former members of Naruto's team. I knew that they would be leaving to meet Naruto at some point and I couldn't let them go without my knowledge. I found out their schedules (hey, I am a ninja after all) so any unauthorized trip that they took all together would be the one I was waiting for.

There was still that internal debate that I was trying to get past though. Did I really have any right to follow them? I certainly hadn't been invited. Maybe it was better to leave well enough alone. Hadn't I caused enough trouble already? However, despite the fact that there was no way to go back and change the sequence of events, and therefore no way for me to retrieve lost chances, I still had to at least_ try_ to repair our friendship. I would have no peace until I apologized. (And everyone knows that once I set a goal in mind…)

They hadn't made a move yet when I got a surprise visit from Sakura. Hinata kindly offered her a seat and some tea, which she accepted, but the serious set to her features never softened.

"What is it you're here for?" I asked bluntly. I've never been one to beat around the bush and her stalling irritated me. She looked down and sighed before meeting my eyes.

"Actually Sasuke, I was just at the hospital a few minutes ago. Ino was brought in just as my shift was ending."

I frowned questioningly at her, wondering why she would have felt the need to inform me of that right away. Ino was no team-mate of mine and shinobi were always in and out of the hospital. Of course I hoped it was nothing too serious but I wasn't on her emergency contact list.

"She seems to have been attacked by a sharingan user." Sakura clarified. "I thought you'd want to know. Tsunade sama is with her right now and she should be ok, though it may take a while yet before she wakes up I think."

Now that threw me for a loop. For a moment I just stared at her in utter surprise. I hadn't thought about my brother in a very long time. It's actually amazing how preoccupied I had been!

What could Itachi have wanted from Ino though? I was going to have to wait until she woke to find out. Gods! Itachi hadn't changed at all, had he! He was still a cocky little shit. Anyone else would have killed their victim to ensure their silence. But of course, he was all too certain that he couldn't be stopped and either didn't bother to waste the effort or, more likely, left her to tell her tale just to toy with us.

--

Hours later, I was sitting silently in the hospital waiting room with Sakura, the Hyuuga and Inuzuka waiting for word on Ino. Whatever the others may have thought of my presence there, I must say that I didn't much notice theirs at all. I was too busy mentally preparing myself for the news of my brother.

Of all the people to attack, why Ino? Unless Akatsuki were aware of her advanced jutsu. Technically, that ability had made her one of the most useful information officers the village had. Ino was the keeper of a great deal of sensitive, and in some cases, top secret information. It would have made sense then, to send Itachi, who could reach into peoples minds in his own way.

Was that it? Was he looking for something specific or just randomly rifling? I dreaded to think of how much and what exactly he might have discovered. Not to mention, how he might have gone about it. I wouldn't put it past that man to make it the experience as painful as possible just for fun.

Finally we were told by a medic that Ino was awake and that we could go in to see her two at a time. Tsunade showed up just then however, to countermand that order. In this case, it would be easier on Ino if she only had to endure one round of questioning.

Ino looked pale and weary, propped up on the hospital pillows that we all knew from experience were not the most comfortable. Surprisingly, after a weak smile for her team-mates, she focused her attention on me.

"I know why you're here. Yes, it was your brother that attacked me"

I nodded stiffly.

"I was on my way back from my solo mission. I can't say anything about that right now of course. It's classified. It's amazing how close I was to Konoha when he appeared out of nowhere. I couldn't even sense him, though apparently, neither could the perimeter guards."

"True," Tsunade interjected. "He slipped in and out without notice. It was the spike in your own chakra that lead to your discovery directly afterward."

"Yes, I managed that small distress signal but nothing else. I was caught off guard and he swooped right in so close to my face that I couldn't avoid looking him in the eye. Then suddenly, he was in my head."

"What did he do Ino?" Kiba asked, looking graver than I had ever seen him. He must have been quite shaken up.

"I tried to stop him…" Ino's eyes shone with tears of frustration. "I couldn't work through the pain. He held me trapped on a cross at first in a powerful genjutsu, like I've never encountered in my life. With mind jutsu being my specialty, he couldn't keep me stuck like that for long but I kept getting wounded. It was as though I were surrounded by unseen enemies and all of it was just a distraction. I knew it was, but it hurt! I didn't know how to counter it. I couldn't do anything while he sifted through my memories, my thoughts, even my senses, my feelings."

The tears had let go now, and were streaming. My heart squeezed a little for her, knowing how violated and helpless she must feel. For a shinobi, to feel helpless or useless, or Gods forbid, to feel that you'd somehow failed your village, was the most horrible thing imaginable.

"What did he find Ino?" Tsunade and Hyuuga demanded simultaneously. I perked up for this as well. The answer could be a clue to what they were planning and where Itachi might show up next.

"A lot of things… but most of them he disregarded quickly, likely considering the information outdated or irrelevant. I couldn't keep track of everything that might have caught his interest, but there are some things that he looked at most thoroughly. He knows about Naruto."

My heart leaped into my throat at that. Why it hadn't occurred to me in the first place I'll never know. Akatsuki had been obsessed with obtaining demonic power for many years.

"He knows what happened back then. He knows Naruto's current situation and he knows when and where we agreed to meet with him."

* * *

A/N; Wow... Is anybody still out there? I can't apologize enough for the incredibly long-ass break I took. I really did need a break from writing for awhile, but I didn't intend for it to snowball like that. Once it was out of my routine, I had no trouble finding things to take it's place y'know? Then after all that time it was really hard to jump back into this story where I left off. I didn't want to start posting again until I was sure I'd be able to finish it up in a timely fashion. (And I was having some problems with the next chapter.)


	9. Chapter 9

A Dream for a Dream

chapter 9

--N

Despite the bout of tense nerves that the thought of the inevitable delivery brought on, I found myself anxiously awaiting the end of my pregnancy, especially throughout the last few months. Once our traveling was done and our new home was completed, the time began to really drag.

To help pass the time ,Kyuubi continued to teach me things and tell me stories, but there were many practical lessons that I couldn't safely handle at that point. He had promised, for instance that after the child was born he would teach me how to transform like he did. That sounded so cool to me that I could hardly wait and I asked him to explain everything he could about it right then.

That was when I learned why he kept the nine tails even in human form. He told me that he was simply used to the additional mass behind him and losing the tails each time meant a much greater adjustment to his sense of balance. He guessed that when I learned to shift forms, I very well may decide to make things easier on myself that way. He was right too. I just learned to shift a few weeks ago. I bet the others will be surprised. People always underestimate how much I can learn in a short time.

I'm a fox form of course, since it was Kyuubi's chakra that changed me. I'm smaller and more of a golden color and I only have three tails. He says that's because I'm so young and still mostly untrained and I'll get bigger and more powerful later on. Three tails are heavy enough though. I can't imagine suddenly gaining and losing nine all the time. I like to picture him falling flat on his face from the overcompensation. Not that he would ever do anything so ungraceful. I always seem to get stuck with these perfectionists. At least in his case I can blame it on centuries of experience. (He hates it when I call him a cradle robber.)

But I'm getting off topic aren't I? Well as I was saying, other than conversation and some rambling walks, it was pretty boring for a while. Not that I was unhappy or anything, but I am used to much more excitement in my life. (Now I think I know why single demons tend to roam around a lot. They're probably just itching for some type of challenge.) The day did finally arrive though and I had a hard time deciding if I was relieved or horrified.

As a shinobi and not having grown up as female or even around females really, I can't say that the miracle of birth had ever been a big topic of discussion for me. It wasn't a subject I spent any amount of time thinking about or researching and I had only a very basic idea of what to expect. Like pain.

The pain definitely came, and fear and confusion and outright panic! If Kyuubi hadn't been right there with me, I don't know what I would have done. Thankfully, as the time grew nearer, Kyuubi stayed closer to my side until he would a barely even leave me for a moment. I believe I threatened him with a bloody and horrifying death if he didn't back off at one point, but he bore it quite serenely.

With him coaching me to draw in a high and steady stream of chakra from himself and everything else around me, the pain was lessened and the process went a lot smoother than it would have otherwise. You didn't think we'd bother with that silly breathing crap did you? That shit's just a placebo, I'm sure. I mean that was a Bitch! No way can you convince me that breathing funny would have made any real difference.

When my baby was born, the first thing I did was ask if it was okay. Kyuubi proudly assured me that the baby was the very picture of healthy perfection... Then I asked the gender. Yeah, yeah, stupid question I know. This is a demon baby after all but I hadn't been a demon for all that long and I was seriously out of it at the time. What? You give birth and tell me how clear headed you are right after!

Anyhow, our child is almost six months old. I can hardly believe that much time has passed already, and yet it's hard to remember what the world was like without him in it. We named him Hinode because he was born just as the sun was rising and he is the same blend of golden colors as the sky was that morning. He has a tuft of blond hair as bright as my own and soft as down and Kyuubi's golden eyes to match and I still can't get over how incredibly beautiful he is. Am I gushing? Oh my God, how girly! But he really is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

At least I know Kyuubi is just as smitten as I am. He doesn't bother trying to hide his utter joy and love for his family. Not that there haven't been frustrating moments and sleepless nights but at least there's none of that typical macho bullshit that some human mothers have to deal with. I think that with all demons having the ability to give birth, it's perfectly natural and acceptable to them to show a softer nurturing side. The roles and duties of each parent are totally interchangeable.

Well needless to say, I can hardly wait to show him off. Of course I'm excited to be able to see my friends again as well. I sent Gamakichi to talk to them several weeks ago and he came back with a positive answer, including a date and meeting place. It won't be long now. Kyuubi just keeps shaking his head at my excitement but I know he loves it. It's just who I am after all.

--S

I'm sure I'm not the only one who cursed the damn Dobe for not setting up some way of contacting him. If we'd had any idea where he was and could have found him to give some kind of warning, it would have saved everyone a massive migraine.

The council's initial reaction to the raiding of Ino's mental filing cabinet was to panic at usual. Then they realized that Itachi was most interested in Naruto and things went downhill, or dropped right off a cliff might be a more accurate way to put it.

The first issue they thought of was the possibility of the Akatsuki getting their hands on the Demon's power, but then, the Demon was no longer extractable now was it? That led straight into a debate about what they could be planning now and the barbaric suggestion of letting the two 'threats' to our village go at it and hopefully destroy each other.

Most of the clan heads asserted that the Akatsuki needed to be dealt with anyway, which should be reason enough to look into this possible opportunity. Hyuuga Hiashi in particular was disturbed at the thought of allowing such dangerous S-class criminals any chance of obtaining more power. Surely they would not even think to approach a free Kyuubi no Kitsune if they didn't have some plan in mind that they thought would work, and would yield some kind of gain. And if Akatsuki does gain in power, the repercussions for our village and indeed all of the five nations could be catastrophic. Even a 0.1 percent chance of such a thing should not be simply ignored.

However, many besides the elders were against doing anything that could aid the 'evil demons'. Besides, there was no solid indication that any members of Akatsuki would show up at all. There were even some threats thrown around about punishments for the three 'traitors' who had been in contact with, and conspired to meet with Konoha's demon enemies. In the end, despite all argument, the situation was eloquently worded as - too great a threat with too many unknown factors and not worth the possible loss of manpower. The final decision of the council was to leave well enough alone and reassess their options after the fact.

This does not mean that everyone agreed with them. Naruto does have friends in Konoha and not everyone is stupid enough to sit idly by and allow things to escalate. Most Konoha shinobi take their oaths of loyalty quite seriously and would never go against the council, no matter how uneasy a decision may make them. Still Tsunade had little trouble gathering a group together for an 'unofficial outing'.

Naruto's former team would surely have gone to meet him regardless, as would I. It was noble of the Hokage to take on the responsibility for our inevitable actions. She sent Kakashi with us as well with instructions to send a dog for help if necessary. No doubt she would have reinforcements standing by.

We left this morning, hoping to reach the meeting place before Naruto, and before our unwelcome guests may arrive. We've been making good time actually. My wife is running along at my side with a look of determination reminiscent of Naruto himself. I hadn't thought about the possibility before she followed me out of the house in full gear, but I can't say that I'm surprised at her desire to come.

The selected meeting place was a gently sloping hill in an unpopulated area within the lower borders of Cloud Country, which had long been declared neutral. Not only was it a nice place to look at, but it would have been nicely defensible… if the enemy wasn't already there, preparing for an ambush.

We've arrived quite early, but Akatsuki have evidently beaten us to the punch anyway. Their chakra signatures are dampened, making it difficult to distinguish identities or even numbers, but we were expecting their presence (thanks to my overconfident sibling) and have been paying such close attention that they couldn't hide from us completely. Besides, Kiba's overgrown mutt can smell them anyway.

Kakashi has called a halt before we reach the edge of the tree-line. They don't seem to be reacting yet but we have a very limited amount of time to locate and size up our opponents and try to get a look at what they're doing. No matter how careful we are, they'll be on the alert for us as well and it certainly won't be long before our presence is noted.

Neji's byakugan is already at work. He says there are four of them, my brother and his fishy looking partner, and two more that he says he recognizes from that mission to save the Kazekage a few years back. I couldn't care less whom the others are myself. I'll be taking care of Itachi. Once and for all.

"They're planting a circle of seal tags." Neji whispers. "And one of them is trailing some sort of powder around the area in a spiral design. Actually it looks something like the mark Naruto used to have on his stomach."

"Then it seems they're preparing for some ritual. It's probably a way of subduing a demon. They had to know that they're no match for Kyuubi. It figures that they'd have a plan in mind." This statement is all that Kakashi can manage before a sudden explosion sends us all flying. We've been discovered. Worse, we've been effectively separated by the blast.

A quick moment to jump to my feet and get my bearings in the smoke and confusion before I take off in the direction of the chakra signatures that have flared up now that hiding them has proven pointless. From the sound of things, some of the others are already engaged in combat. There won't be a chance to plan a group attack so I might as well just jump in and do what I can.

The air has cleared and I've found myself in the clearing, to see my brother facing off with Kakashi. My former sensei's forehead protector has already been pushed up to reveal his single sharingan eye, though he's carefully avoiding Itachi's direct gaze.

Itachi is mocking him about previous encounters in that infuriatingly backhanded way of his. (The dick) His stance is deliberately nonchalant but I notice that he's holding a strange object with unusual care. I have only a brief moment to study it and I can't say that I find anything outwardly special about the thing, save perhaps the fact that whatever material it's made from is indistinguishable. It's simple, a dull blue shade and vaguely shaped like a pear… or a gourd.

I can't spare the time to ponder it further right now though. There are much more pressing matters to attend at the moment, like personally making absolutely certain that Itachi will never be able to threaten another of my precious people.

I've lost the thread of the conversation - if it can be called that- in my observations, and Kakashi is moving to the attack. I can't let him take over. This is _my_ fight. I'm sure the others could use his help in any case. In a flash I've cut Kakashi off, place myself between them. Itachi is already smirking condescendingly at me, though his body is tensed, leaning forward at the ready and he cradles the strange object closer.

From the slight pull of his facial muscles, I can tell that his eyes are narrowing on me although I'm not about to glance up to confirm anything. My glare is firmly fixed on his sneering mouth as he greets me with that old sarcastic endearment.

"Otouto," he calls me and I scoff, refusing to rise to the bait.

Behind me, Kakashi sharply barks my name but I wave him off.

"Go look after Hinata Kakashi." I can spare him no more attention than this and I'm somewhat relieved to feel him go with only a second's hesitation. Then I have to clear him from my mind.

"So you think you're ready to try this again my foolish little brother? I do hope you've gotten a lot stronger.

He's underestimating me. Now I recognize that for the advantage that it is. What I have gotten is _smarter_. Once I would have flown into a rage, but this time I won't allow myself to lose my head. I've learned not to focus on proving my own power and to pay more attention instead to my enemy's potential weaknesses. Which is why, when I make my move, it's the object in his hand that I aim for.

I've caught him by surprise. He was surely expecting a hateful, berserker assault on his person, not a cool purposeful try for the thing that he's being so protective of. Not that it takes him long to recover, but for the first time in my life I have the satisfaction of seeing my perfect older brother dodge and flee from me.

I closely follow his retreat into the circle of seal tags and he tosses the blue object to one of his companions that apparently has remained stationed here. The man is running off with it. I can't spare even a second to watch where he goes. I feel an instant of temptation to try to intercept him and get my hands on this unknown article that is obviously important to them, but I can not abandon my confrontation with Itachi.

Neji is calling out to the group to target the seal tags, to try to destroy or at least move some of them and disrupt whatever the enemy is planning. Unfortunately the enemy can hear him as well as I can. Itachi calls to his companion, the one that just took the blue gourd thing. He reappears with a grunt of affirmation and is already moving, his hand quickly working through the signs, and a chakra string shoots out to the nearest tag. It's moving around the whole circle, connecting the tags. He must be protecting them or maybe activating them now before they can be disturbed.

Out of the corner of my eye I can see some of the tags. They're beginning to glow. There's a brilliant flash! My senses are exploding with a huge burst of chakra that encompasses the entire area within the circle! It's almost painful…

The tags must amplify and reflect the power that's put into them. It's a barrier. Did they really think they were going to catch a demon this way?

"This barrier will absorb any chakra that's thrown at it Little Brother. It was not meant to be activated yet. I suppose you and your pathetic friends have proven more of an annoyance than I'd thought."

"I'll be much more than a simple annoyance very soon Aniki."

"You'll be long dead by the time our target arrives," he corrects me in that bored tone. That seriously pisses me off. Do I sound like that? Never mind. Focus.

I know he'll probably refuse to make the first move so I start with a good one, taking a page from Naruto's book and going for surprise. In a fraction of second I'm right there in his personal space with a chidori crackling in my palm. He just barely manages to dodge, the billowing fabric of his cloak singed and smoking. I can't help but smile grimly in satisfaction. I'm faster now than he'd expected. I push my advantage trying to keep him off guard. I can't give him the time to do anything but defend.

--N

Kyuubi is grumbling quietly to Hinode behind me (as if the baby can understand and sympathize with him), while I zigzag ahead, trying to get him to hurry along. I can hear him anyway of course and he knows it. If he thinks it's going to have any effect, he's dead wrong. I already know that we're going to be there ahead of schedule and that getting there faster doesn't really mean I'll get to see my friends faster but I couldn't possibly sit around waiting at home any longer.

It feels nice to be traveling again, with an actual destination in mind. It makes me feel purposeful and alive. Life has been good to me lately, sure, but I have to admit that I was going a bit stir crazy. Kyuubi is great company and Hinode is beautiful and wonderful and quite possibly the cutest baby that ever lived and I've been truly blessed to be a part of this little family, but I'm not used to the hermit lifestyle. I can't help missing my friends and all the action my life used to revolve around.

Kyuubi took Hinode from me shortly after we left, saying that all my bouncing around was probably going to make him sick. I know that's just an excuse. He doesn't feel completely comfortable with taking the baby so far from home yet and holding him close makes him feel better. He can't help his natural instincts and I can understand that. Heck I even feel it myself to an extent.

Oh well, at least I know that he'll get over it eventually. He's promised that when the baby is older, he'll take me to all sorts of places I never knew existed. He told me about some demon villages that we could visit. Some types of demons are more social than others and actually like to share a community. The markets are apparently quite something to see. Most of them have more private homes that they go live in for awhile when they're with child. As a general rule demons only care to allow immediate family around their young ones.

I don't have an immediate family though and I made a promise to my team mates, whom I trust completely. They can be like my family stand-ins I guess. Kyuubi was along for the ride (so to speak) for every mission I went on with them and I know he trusts them too. After all, he may be a little uncomfortable but he hasn't actually tried to dissuade me from meeting them.

We're almost there now. The meeting point is just over this next rise. I doubt they're there yet though and if they aren't, I'm going have a hard time sitting still until they come. I think I can feel a flicker of chakra but it feels faint like it's still quite far off. I hope that means we won't have to wait too long.

Wait, the chakra has suddenly flared up. It wasn't far off, it was suppressed. There's too many, and the signatures are pulsing and flaring as if in battle. Kyuubi and I shoot a look at each other. Something is very wrong. Moments later there's a veritable _explosion_ of chakra that quickly stabilizes but definitely increases our feeling of urgency.

So _now _he picks up the pace. Within minutes we're cresting the hill where I was supposed to meet my friends. I stop short at the sight of a familiar black cloak with red clouds. My friends are fighting Akatsuki. They're two on one - save Kakashi who's taking on that shark faced guy alone - but it still appears to be a fairly even battle, neither side gaining ground.

"A barrier," Kyuubi growls. I follow his gaze to the clearing and gasp at the sight of Sasuke in a pitched battle with Itachi. Both seem to be trapped inside a dome of chakra. Before my eyes, Itachi leaps high into the air, throwing a shuriken at Sasuke's head. Sasuke twists his head to avoid the weapon, bringing his face exactly where Itachi lands, inches away from him.

"SASUKE!" It's too late. Their eyes have met and Itachi's lips curl into a cruel smirk.

I blink in surprise as Kyuubi thrusts the baby into my arms.

"Stay," he commands sternly before bounding off into the fray. He gives me no time to argue, the clever bastard. I want to be the one to fight. These are my friends I'm supposed to help. Protecting them is my responsibility. Now with Hinode in my arms I can't take one step. I'll be forced to watch here while the others fight for their lives and Sasuke is tortured by his brother.

ARGGHH! I'm itching to take the offense. I've always been the type to make the first move. Playing defense makes me antsy, but there's no way in hell I'd put Hinode down somewhere and leave him vulnerable.

--S

Everything outside the circle is forgotten. There is nobody else in this world but myself and Itachi. I will not be distracted by my own desperation this time. Much of the time there is no thinking at all, just acting and reacting. I've trained my whole life for this. My instincts are flawless. As the battle rages back and forth between us, tearing up the field, we seem more evenly matched than I had hoped. I'm holding my own against my genius brother. All it will take is one instant, one slip on his part, one stroke of luck or sudden inspiration on mine and I will finally have the upper hand.

Shit, I swiftly turn my head, lifting my chin as a shuriken whips by where my face used to be, and he's there. The weapon was meant to shift my gaze in this direction and he has already moved into place. I don't even have time to gasp at the menacing sight of the Mangekyou before the world runs red.

Oh God no! Not the fucking cross again, and hung from kunai in my wrists this time. I can feel the pain despite knowing it's not real. It hurts so bad! I'm panicking… Stop fucking panicking! I can't let him do this to me again. I'm stronger now! I'm supposed to destroy him!

He's just pacing slowly in front of me chuckling away like he doesn't have a care in the world. I hate that evil freak so much! The memories are battering at my psyche, images of me and my beloved big brother from all those years ago, of him carrying me home on his back and those gentle little smiles he used to give me. He's tainting those images with this sickening blood red haze. He's trying to break me down, to bring out my grief, to turn me back into that sobbing helpless mess that I was when I first realized his monumental betrayal. Well I won't let him! This creature before me is NOT my brother! I refuse to believe that the same boy I knew is even still in there.

I'm seven years old again and running down the blood soaked streets. He's making me relive that day yet again. It always comes back to that day. Don't look, don't look, don't LOOK! I can't let him steal my sanity. I need it to kill him!

I can't close my eyes. I hate thinking of this day. I don't want to see this. I HATE seeing this!

"Poor Otouto, you keep falling for the same trap." His voice washes over the debilitating mental assault. "You're still not good enough, and now I suppose you never will be. I need to dispose of you quickly after all. We need finish getting ready for your little friend's arrival. I'm so looking forward to seeing Naruto kun again."

Mentioning Naruto is the biggest mistake he could make. Suddenly my goal is completely clear once more. I must protect Naruto! The illusion of being a small helpless child swiftly weakens. This isn't about catching up to my awe-inspiring brother. This is about Naruto.

Reserves of strength and determination that I didn't even know I possessed are suddenly being tapped as I forcibly shove the powerful genjutsu down. It's Itachi's shock that turns the tide. He always was too confident. The instant in which he fails to react, frozen in his surprise, I manage to rest control of my own mind. Like the realization that you are in a dream, it is completely freeing. With one hard jerk I pull the kunai in my right arm out of the splintering wood of the cross and reach over to yank the other kunai out of my left arm swiftly sending it flying toward my brother's face, all in a single smooth motion.

He certainly wasn't prepared for such a thing. I'm actually taken aback when it hits him dead in the eye… but not nearly as much as he is. He drops to his knees, screaming in pain as I fall from my cross. He's disoriented and seems to have forgotten that this is genjutsu, and his own at that._ I_ know that the pain can't be real._ I_ know what is going on, and he doesn't. I guess that means I'm now the one in control of this nightmare he's created.

This is my chance. I mustn't let him get his bearings. I leap at him jabbing the other kunai into his other eye blinding him completely. It's the most disgusting thing I've ever done in my carrier as a shinobi. His shrieks are painfully piercing my ears and I think they must actually be real because I can no longer feel the phantom pain in my wrists from the wounds that I know aren't there. Can everyone else hear him screaming?

This thought abruptly brings to mind what could be going on in the real world around us and thinking about that seems to make the bloody red landscape around me slowly fade, though Itachi doesn't notice. He's begun thrashing around trying to defend himself. I'm concentrating carefully with all my strength to help drag myself out of the genjutsu but just as the clearing is coming into view, he pulls a blade from his cloak and lunges blindly, slashing deeply across my abdomen.

I feel this…

His real body has been reacting to the imagined situation. He's staring sightlessly around, still trapped in his own genjutsu, believing that his all-important sharingan eyes are destroyed. And he's holding a blood darkened kunai.

I can't look down. I feel that everything will be over the second I do. I still have to kill him before his companions can get to him. I swore that I would end this today, that I would never let him threaten Naruto or anyone else again.

It hurts like hell just to lean down but I grit my teeth and work through it, picking up a discarded shuriken from where it's dug a furrow into the ground. My powerful brother looks incredibly pitiful in this moment, but I push the thought away before it can complicate things further. I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out as my arm pulls back and swings forward in the swift familiar motion, aiming directly for his throat.

I don't bother to look. I can tell by the sound that I've struck on target. I sink to my knees and the ground feels wet. A lazy glance down and I understand that it's my own blood pooling beneath me. I press my hand to my wound but it's too big to cover and the warm liquid is seeping out through my cooling fingers. I'm starting to shiver with cold, and maybe shock. I really need to lay down.

* * *

A/N; Gaahh! I'm so late! Again! Damn I hate not knowing when I'm going to be busy. Plus this chapter really wasn't kind to me. And it's another cliffy (of sorts). How much do you guys hate me now? Even if you do hate me though I really would like to thank everyone who has bothered to stick with me after all that waiting I put you through. You guys know who you are. I really do appreciate all the support and encouragement.

Well I guess this time I won't make any definite promises. I'll just say that the next chapter will be out 'very soon'. Thank god this is nearly over...


	10. Chapter 10

A Dream for a Dream

Chapter 10

--

Holy crap! Is that Sasuke? No, it's Itachi! Itachi is screaming? How the hell did Sasuke manage that in the Tsukiomi?! I know my mouth is gaping open, but… Uchiha Itachi is screaming and writhing in pain, his hands clawing at his eyes, which happen to look perfectly fine to me! That is _messed up_.

Sasuke seems to be coming out of his frozen state, his muscles loosening and sagging. He's shaking his head as if to literally throw the jutsu off. I can't believe it! He's freeing himself! He's actually managed to escape the Tsukiomi and somehow hurt his brother in the process. It's amazing!

"Oh Shit! SASUKE!"

Oh God! Oh my God! He's hurt. He's hurt bad. It looks like all the blood in his body is trying to spill out all at once! What the fuck is he doing?! Never mind Itachi you idiot! Do something to stop the bleeding! Damn it, where is everybody?! Somebody help him!!

Kyuubi's grown huge again, he's already made short work of two of those cloaked bastards. The third is running but Kyuubi will definitely chase him down. Why are the rest of them just standing there staring? Someone needs to get to Sasuke! Damn, I really shouldn't rush out there with the baby before I'm sure the area is secure. There were only four Akatsuki here, right? Oh hell.

"Neji, Kakashi sensei! You have to help Sasuke!" I run towards them, drawing everyone's attention.

"Naruto kun, you're ok!" Turning to the voice, I'm slightly surprised to see Hinata here, but there's no time to remark on that.

"Sasuke! Over there! _Hurry_!!" Thankfully that seems to snap everyone out of it and they're racing for the barrier. Akamaru bounds ahead but the second he touches the chakra ring he's thrown back several feet. He's ok but a good portion of his chakra has been sucked out of him by the field. It's clear that we need to break the circle before we can enter but we quickly discover that we can't use chakra and we can't actually touch the tags.

Sasuke's life blood is soaking into the ground as we speak and every second wasted is one we can't afford. How do you do anything without either touch or chakra? My frustration is reaching it's peak and I pass the baby to Neji and get as close as possible to the barrier. Turning before one of the tag I wave my three bushy tails back and forth as hard as I can, looking over my shoulder to see the tag flutter and finally blow off it's perch. With the circuit broken the shield falls and I rush over to Sasuke's crumpled form.

--

Did I win? Yes, I think so. I can see him laying there… so much blood. He's staring right at me - no, through me. Now his eyes are going dull and still. It's funny, I don't care about vengeance right now at all. I'm just satisfied that Naruto is safe from him.

Naruto… I never got the chance to explain to him. Hopefully, this counts as a sufficient apology because I don't think I'll ever have that chance.

He's here, hovering over me like an angel! His beautiful eyes look so concerned. I can see his lips forming my name but his voice is so faint. I think he's holding me. I wish I could feel it.

He's changed a little but his expression is still completely Naruto. I suppose that if his face is the last thing I see, it's more than I ever had a right to hope for. It's probably best this way. At least one of us will live on peacefully, and it should be him.

I couldn't have stood to live on myself, having to watch him suffer further. He's finally achieved some happiness. He's found acceptance, love, the family I know he's always wanted, and he deserves it. I owe it to him.

I remember when I was much younger, I told Kakashi that I didn't have a dream. That wasn't true, or at least it didn't remain true. And Naruto was never just a small part of my dream, as I once tried to tell myself. He was the very heart of it.

I never achieved the family that had been my original goal. The Uchiha will die out after all, it seems. Perhaps that's for the best as well? I don't believe I would have been completely happy even then. Not without him.

This is the way the world works… and it _does_ work. At some point karma finds you and you get what you have coming to you. I can only consider it my fair due.

An eye for an eye

A tooth for a tooth

A dream for a dream

I heartlessly ripped his dream out from under him, and destroyed my own in the process.

He's crying…

Don't cry Naruto. The world is full of lost, corrupted and neglected dreams but _you_ at least never seem to run out of new ones.

--

He's gone! He can't be! How can this be happening? It simply doesn't seem possible! Nothing can touch Sasuke... He can't just be gone... But he is. I can feel it. Or rather, I _can't_ feel him anymore. There is no chakra, no spirit housed in this body any longer. I'm not sure what to do. I can't think. I don't want to think.

I feel like I must be dreaming and I wish I could wake up. Sasuke, I'm not angry at you anymore.

It hurts knowing that he'll never hear me say that. Hinata tried her best to save him but we were simply too late. There is silence for a long time as Hinata and I sit here side by side and stare blankly. I don't really see anything and not even a leaf is stirring. I would almost think I was cut off from the world entirely but I can still smell. There's the charged scent of chakra from a recent battle and the thick, cloying odor of blood that almost drowns the gentle scent that announces the presence of the still, silent girl next to me. 'She smells different than I remember', I muse distantly.

Then I hear a familiar whine. Hinode is leaning as far over in Neji's arms as he can, his little hands reach out for me and I lift my own automatically to take him and comfort him. Then I look down and blink stupidly at the blood covering my hands. I wipe them off as best I can on my pants, before reaching out once more to take him.

Everyone seems to take this as their cue to start talking, offering condolences. Neji is telling Hinata how he is sorry for the loss of her husband. That draws my attention instantly. So he did marry her after all. That explains why she's here, I suppose. The others must have picked up on my surprise. Hinata tearfully stutters out an explanation but I wave off her concerns. It's not like I'm shocked or anything, I simply hadn't had time to think about it.

I put my free arm around her and drag her close, apologizing as profusely as I know how. I didn't even get a chance to congratulate her on her marriage before she became a widow, and that is a painful thought, especially when, for all intents and purposes, her husband is dead because of me.

I apologize both for her loss and for the fact that I will be unable to attend the funeral. Hinata just clings to me and cries, telling me it's not my fault and that she's glad I'm safe and that Sasuke would be glad too. I just rub her back, humming in reassurance and letting her take her time to pull herself back together. Finally she seems to realize that she's hugging a baby along with me and she pulls back, staring at him in wonder.

"Oh Naruto," she whispers. "He's beautiful." The tears are building in her eyes again and the last word comes as a quiet sob. "What's his name?"

"Hinode."

"It suits him," she exclaims with a watered down smile. I ask if she would like to hold him, attempting to help her feel a little better, though I know nothing will really diminish her grief. My own eyes are red with tears and I guess I'm also trying to distract myself a bit.

It's hard to distract yourself from a tragedy that surrounds you physically though, so with utmost care, I slide Sasuke's head off my lap, laying it gently on the ground. If I could focus only on that pale face, I could almost believe that he's just sleeping. I want to believe it.

The bloody mess below his face destroys the image and without warning my body gives a heave that I swallow back and fresh tears blur my vision. I need to do something with myself. I need to feel useful. I need to clear away this horrible sight.

Leaving the baby to Hinata's care for the moment, I attempt to find that sense of duty and emotional detachment that ninja are so famous for and slowly lift the limp body of my once best friend. Kakashi quickly moves to help me and I give him a weak smile of gratitude. It falls flat, I know, but he nods in understanding anyway.

Neji joins us once he's done making absolutely certain that Itachi is dead. It's an understandable concern with a powerful and tricky weasel like him. We can't afford to take any chances. Then, together we begin to prepare Sasuke's body for transportation. The last true Uchiha deserves a proper funeral in his home village.

Ino stands guard over Hinata and the baby while Kiba has begun to drag the corpses of our enemies together to be burned. I glance up when Kyuubi walks back into the clearing. The body of the fourth enemy is slung over his shoulder and he tosses it easily onto the pile before going to hover around the woman who holds his child, watching her every move carefully.

A strong fire jutsu from Kakashi (one that reminds me painfully of Sasuke) has the bodies reduced to ashes within moments, leaving only a cloud of slowly settling smoke and the usual sickening scent behind.

Suddenly, Kiba turns and tosses a strange blue object to Neji.

"What do you make of that? I found it with one of the Akatsuki."

"Hmm…" Neji frowns pensively, turning the thing over in his hands to feel the smooth texture and examine every inch. He activates his byakugan and looks again.

"It's empty." He sounds surprised when he finally speaks, the veins around his eyes fading as he looks back up at us.

"Uh, so…" Kiba's head tilts curiously.

"I mean, not physically empty. It has no chakra signature of any kind. Every material has a certain small amount, that's how my bloodline limit works. Byakugan does not 'see' creatures or objects. It sees their chakra. I see the chakra of everything, no matter how miniscule. I can't see this. It is completely void, a hole in my vision. And a much larger hole than its size would indicate."

"Perhaps this is what they meant to use to contain a demon." My attention snaps to Kakashi at this suggestion. On some level I'd recognized that Akatsuki's goal must have been something like that but this is the first anyone has actually mentioned of it. A number of questions are rising in my brain like a flash flood.

"It makes a certain sense. Demons can manipulate all chakra. They can use that ability to escape any trap. Look how easily Kyuubi escaped Naruto. If they were to have any hope of keeping him under control, they'd have to put him in a container that had no chakra for him to manipulate. There would be nothing for his own chakra to affect and no other chakra for him to reach out to."

"So you think it was me they were after?" Kyuubi's sudden question was more of a statement, and Kakashi shrugged.

"That seems like the logical conclusion," Neji agrees. "They set up this clearing for some ritual, probably to get you into the container. The chakra absorbing shield was added to keep you from making use of anything outside the circle, and maybe to keep Naruto from helping you as well. There's no way to know the full details. We should have tried to capture one of them alive."

Kakashi shakes his head. "That could have been dangerous and moreover, I sincerely doubt that one of _them_ would have broken under even the most strenuous form of questioning."

"Now might be a good time to tell me what you _do_ know," I finally interject. "What the hell happened here? How did they even know we were going to be here?" My friends are flinching a little under my glare and I feel sort of bad but I need to know where this huge information leak originated.

Ino begins the explanations, telling me how she was attacked outside of Konoha by Itachi. I really do feel bad now. That must have been a huge blow

She's apologizing and blubbering all over the place. I can't blame her for what happened though, who can manage to fight off the Tsukiomi. Well… apparently Sasuke can… could. Oh shit, I'm going to cry again.

I cut her off, spouting out exactly what I'm thinking, before any tears can squeeze their way out. Thankfully it grabs her attention and the rambling halts while she thinks it over.

"He really threw off the Tsukiomi?" Kiba asks.

"Actually, it seemed more like he took it over. The effects were back-washing over Itachi. He was freaking out while Sasuke looked perfectly clearheaded."

"Is that even possible?" Kiba is frowning skeptically at me. Does he think I'm confused?

Ino answers for me.

"It might not be as far fetched as you think. After all, Sasuke is an Uchiha, the ability is in his blood even if it had been lying dormant, and he did show quite an aptitude for mind jutsu. He wrenched himself out of mine. Nobody had ever been able to do that before. If Itachi said or did something to get him riled up enough, I wouldn't put it past him to find a way."

A moment passes in silence, while everyone considers the implications of this and the loss of such a talented and determined shinobi. At least I assume that's what the others are thinking.

Kyuubi's arm slides around me, bringing me back to myself and a heavy sigh escapes me.

"The village has suffered a great loss today. You should bring him back." I really don't feel much like visiting or talking anymore. All my earlier excitement just seems stupid now. "I'm sorry I can't help."

Ino's rushing to assure me that I've done all that could be expected. I don't feel like I've done anything at all. I should have saved him.

…That's what I should have done.

I turn to Hinata and reach out to take my child back. I'm finding it difficult to look her in the eye, but I force myself to do it. Her tears make me flinch.

She gives me the baby and then suddenly throws herself at me, hugging me tight around the waist, while somehow managing to avoid squishing Hinode.

"Naruto… It's not your fault… none of this. You know that right?"

I nod dumbly, staring wide-eyed at her pleading face.

"You won't avoid us will you?"

I shake my head quickly.

"You should know that he felt terrible about what happened. He didn't hate you… at all. He didn't really mean any of it. He wanted to find you, to apologize. He still thought of you as his very best friend Naruto. He… he really cared about you. So much. He… You were… He cared about you."

She seems to be having trouble getting out the right words, so I'll take pity on her.

"I understand Hinata chan. It's Ok."

She shakes her head, fresh tears coming. She looks almost frustrated with herself. I manage to get an arm free and hug her back.

"I know you want to make sure that I hear what he wanted to say. He was really lucky to have you Hinata chan. Don't worry, I already forgave him a long time ago."

"Thank you Naruto," she sighs. "Promise you'll keep in touch."

"I promise."

As we turn to leave, much more sober than we came, I look back over my shoulder once or twice. I can't help but worry a little about Hinata. To have lost her husband, and so soon, it must be devastating. I can't imagine the wreck I'd be if something happened to Kyuubi.

As if he could read my mind, Kyuubi rests a warm, comforting hand on my back, giving a little rub.

"Don't worry yourself too much Naru chan. She has many friends and family to watch over her, and she'll probably feel better after the baby is born. It should give her some focus."

Surprise straightens my weary spine.

"Baby?"

After a second of thought, I whirl to face him.

"That's what that scent was?!" Kyuubi nods gravely

"A pregnant widow is a sad thing, I know. But as I said, I believe it will give her a new sense of purpose and something to focus on. She seems the type to make a good mother."

"We have to support her as much as we can! There must be a way to set up regular visits. This is Sasuke's child after all. I could never abandon my best friend's child. I need to be there for them. I could bring Hinode and teach them both some techniques." (Yes I'm rambling. Kyuubi's obviously right. This has certainly commanded _my_ focus quickly enough.)

Kyuubi just hums in agreement and we fall silent while my mind continues to race around the possibilities. Then it starts to hit me that Sasuke won't be a part of any of these plans.

"Are you ok?"

The whisper startles me. I hadn't realized that I was crying. I swipe away the wetness and shake my head, turning to him with some approximation of a smile.

"Don't worry. I'll be fine. He always wanted to defeat his brother and continue his bloodline. It's all that he ever wanted in life. I'm just glad that he managed to complete his two major goals before the very end."

"That is something to celebrate." Kyuubi agrees.

FIN

* * *

A/N; Oh my god I'm so horrible! *sobs* How depressing. And didn't even get it out as quickly as I should have. I got roped into making everyone's Halloween costume and I totally forgot about this for awhile. I made you wait this long and I didn't even give you a happy ending! Oooooh the pain! I feel like such a bastard.

Oh well, at least I'm finally finished with this. And may I never write another story like it. (By which I'm refering to the style not the tragedy. Sometimes a good tragedy can be very satisfying.)

As always, I want to thank everyone who took the time to write such encouraging reviews. Without you, I really would have given up this time. This particular project sucked the life right out of me, but you guys kept me going. dagget luvs you!!


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